CafeChatNoir

I spent way too much time today attempting to buy a pair of jeans. My old jeans still fit, but are on the brink of falling apart, so it’s time to get another pair into the rotation. Because the old ones still fit, you’d think it would just be a matter of getting the same size, wouldn’t you? Well, apparently that makes you quite the delusional consumer.

There used to be a time when I could walk into the Gap and grab any style of size 4-Long jeans, try them on to make sure they weren’t mismarked, and off I went. Then the designers and sizing people all started doing some serious drugs. My size now could be anything depending on the day of the week. But despite the fact that I need to drop 5 pounds, my size is now a zero. 0-Regular. From a 4-Long. Today I tried on the same size, same style as the jeans I am attempting to replace only to discover that apparently my legs are now two inches shorter than they were the last time I bought these jeans, so I don’t even need a 0-Regular now, I need a 0-Ankle. And according to the saleslady the ankle length is only available online. (Except that it’s not – they don’t even make an ankle length version in size 0.)

So, according to the folks who determing sizes at the Gap, in the past 10 years I’ve gotten shorter and skinnier. Except that I haven’t.

And I still need another pair of jeans.