CafeChatNoir

Him:  We need to find you a boyfriend, because you’re too cool not to have a really good boyfriend.  (This was not meant in a patronizing way, but in a “you should have someone to share the fun with” way.)

Me:  Well, that would kickass, but I have this seriously screwy thing going on with my grandmother, and I can’t realistically expect anyone in their right mind to put up with it, because it’s not their family, and she’s quite off the rails, and she’s still my responsibility.  (Especially given that none of my ex’s could put up w/her in her GOOD days, much less now – I am quite realistic in SOME of my assessments of the current situation!)

Him:  If he’s smart, he has already figured out that her problems are not your fault, and that you’re a really good person for caring and trying to fix it anyway.

Me:  Thank You.  But I’m pretty sure no one on the planet wants to take part in my little radioactive train wreck, but it’s really awesome that you think that someone would.

Granted, these comments tend to come from tethered gentlemen – committed relationships. engaged, married, what-have-you.  But still, as completely locked into the “single because I can’t drag anyone else into my horribly screwed up family dynamics, nor would I trick them into thinking it didn’t exist” status as I am, it really helps me to think that I *CAN* break out of it because there might actually be gentlemen that can see past this ridiculousness and say, “She’s fun, smart and funny, and I’d like to still hang out with her despite her insane relatives.”

Well, I guess it goes to show that even if you work for NASA, you can still be a little bit of a nutjob when it comes to love & romance.

Astronaut charged with kidnap attempt

When it comes to stupid relationship stuff, at least I can say I’ve never done anything that stupid. To be perfectly honest, I don’t think this would have made anything but the local news in Orlando if she hadn’t been an astronaut.  People go a bit around the bend when it comes to love and such every day of the week.

Totally unrelated, the Puppy Bowl that Animal Planet did is the absolute cutest thing I’ve seen on TV in a long time.

On so, so many levels.

I have the time and energy for real cooking. It’s hard to really describe how much that means to me. I’ve been on an Asian kick this week (chili shrimp, satay, tonkatsu and great sticky rice), who knows what next week will bring. Though tonight was Hot Italian Grinders (pretty simple, but it was something Mom always made and I never really *watched* her making them, so I was winging it completely from memory – the way back machine served me well.)

Dave* has gotten some good intel on what appears to be be a kickass German restaurant down in Triangle. We’re definitely going at some point – he’s in charge of ordering. I saw the menu, and it all looks fantastic – couldn’t even imagine picking one thing. Funny thing, just last week we were both bemoaning the lack of good German restaurants in the area.

I have good wine. Called the wine shop yesterday to see if they were getting the wine in I was looking for – after I told him the name, the owner exclaimed, “Aaahh, signora!! I remember! You liked it!” They just got a customer for life there. Went over there this evening, the truck didn’t show today – he felt horrible, but has my number and will call me when it gets in, and I have yet another wine to try out in the meantime. When I left, he went for the handshake. Screw that, he’s Italian (or from Jersey and puts on one hell of an act) – he got the hug and kiss.

As an aside, why the hell don’t we do that here more often?! Granted, I’ll fully admit I am a hug & smooches kinda gal to start with – but really, why does it seem that we’re so averse to a hug and a peck on the cheek here in the states? It’s so much warmer than just a handshake.

I also found a nice Grenache, another good Monferrato (Monferratos are the closest thing to a Bardolino I’ve found, and Bards apparently just don’t get imported much) and “Chilean devil wine” at Wegman’s. (Well, the Chilean wine is called Casillero del Diablo – if you want to check it out, it’s up at the main kitchen area at the moment. A good spicy winter red – Carmenere – perfect for coming in from a snowstorm.)

I have a lot of good people in my life, a kickass little brother, and one especially spiffy guy. Who really likes it when I stop by where he works for a coffee break. :) Who also appreciates the fact that I cook and make sure he gets fed. (Full time job with screwy hours + some stress = crap eating. Been there, done that – I will do whatever I can to prevent it in others when I can.) His quote, “You are a badass cook.” Can’t even begin to tell you how much that means from someone who gets paid to cook good things for folks. And unquestioningly helped me on my quest for a decent Bardolino, and understands the sentimental attachments to a particular type of wine**.

In other completely unrelated news, the fall fashion buzzword is apparently “butt ugly”. Been looking around this week for some long sleeved shirts & medium weight sweaters. Found some nice classically designed twinsets at Old Navy – snagged two tanks and a good universal black cardigan, and a nice V-neck sweater & some camis at American Eagle. Hit Ann Taylor Loft – usually pretty good – oh dear lord, I can’t even begin to describe the crap they’re trying to sell right now. Managed to find couple more sweater tanks & 2 long sleeved jerseys (one of which I had to make them take off the display cause it was the last one in my size), but passed on the matching cardigans cause they were freakin’ hideous. (Note to designers: Belted cardigans are NOT COOL OR FLATTERING.) Dave nudged me in the direction of REI, and I’m glad he made me think of it. Now have 2 nice mid-weight sweaters of a very simple design that will be perfect over my multiple black tanks & t-shirts, and a black zip front fleece, which will be “universal cardigan #2.” REI is very dangerous for me – but I was good and hauled ass before I decided I needed a snowboard or something along those lines.

Yes, life is good. I am so thankful I have all these things and the ability to appreciate them. I am so insanely lucky in so many ways.

*Dave = spiffy
**First place I had a Bardolino was London, in a great hole in the wall Italian restaurant, where I was able to get across to the waiter, in my very fractured Italian, that we wanted a good table wine, but I was not made of money…and we got a wonderful wine.

OK, so it’s Tuesday. I wish it were Wednesday… I’m tired of waiting. Now I’m wishing I’d just been bad and gone down to the beach. 2 days of peace & quiet, at the beach no less, with someone that digs you? Good grief, in many ways I am an idiot. Maybe there will be another opportunity.

*sigh*

I just want to see him again.

I like the beginning stages. It’s fun.

I like thinking about him, and wondering how his day is going, and when the next time I get to see him is. When do I get to kiss him again?

I want tomorrow to get here. I want to hear about the beach. I want to sit next to him and have him put his head on my shoulder again. I liked it.

Heavens, I sure hope that in 2 weeks I’m not sitting here lamenting the fact that I am an idiot or something.

As of this moment, 26 hours.

So, we’ve basically had 2 encounters. Both have been nice. Damn, I want to smooch that boy again.

It’s been 4 days since I saw him. Wow, I am a dork that I just sat down and figured that out.

So, Tim’s getting married. Thing is – I really don’t care.

I’d say I am successfully over him.

Tonight’s workout is 12 ounce curls… Got screwed on lunch break, and by the end of the day, I was fried. I’m already over it all, and we’re only halfway through the week.

Have management making promises I have no earthly idea how we’ll keep, the stuff keeps piling on, we’re starting to wonder out loud if they’ve got some contest to drive people out of the department. Gonna have to make sure I stay in good graces with my ops dance partner just in case.

Apparently tonight I am also the lesbian sex & dating advice queen. Given that I am straight, I have no idea how that came about, but hey, maybe eventually they’ll tell me the secret handshake.

Ah well, tomorrow is another day, isn’t it?

Can someone explain this to me?  (For once, the man troubles are not my own.)

Went out w/friends last week.  In the group was a guy that has gone on a couple dates with one of the gals.  He scored well with all of us, and all the body language over the course of the evening says he is interested in her.  They had plans to hang out on Sunday, he was to call and firm things up and never did.

Granted, yes, she could have called him, but if he said he was going to call – why the hell wouldn’t he, even if just to say, “I can’t make it/My house burned down/I have to wash the cat/If I have to spend any time again with your insane friends I will slit my wrists so I can’t see you anymore.”

I just really don’t get saying you’ll call and then not bothering.  (Don’t get me started on folks that don’t check emails.)

12 years ago today I got married. 4 years ago yesterday, my divorce was final. What a weird ride my life has been.

Just finished watching Pretty Woman. Yup, total fairy tale, but dammit, we ALL deserve the fairy tale.

Hmmm, not only did I break my scanner, I seem to have broken my email as well. Can’t send anything. I can get things, but sending is apparently out of the question. The techs opened a network ticket for me – it would seem that I can send to an addy at speakeasy, but no one else…

The grandma call is done for the week, so I can tie up the phone lines to my heart’s content. (I know that may sound kinda cold, but she is way anti-computer, despite the fact that it’s what allows me to keep a roof over my head, and I’ve learned to just keep computers out of conversation whenever possible, and try not to have a busy signal when she is supposed to call. Can’t wait for the DSL to be activated!!) Funny thing is, when I talked briefly about having tied up the phone line because I had broken the internet, she asked, “Do you need a new computer?”, to which I responded, “I need a new computer because it would be shiny & fast, the way some folks need new cars because they’re shiny & fast” and she actually seemed to get it…

And now, I think I have just committed one of the greater ex-girlfriend faux pas… I called to see if he was near a computer to see if he actually received the email I am showing as successfully sent… Some insanely young chicky-chick answered the phone. I say I am calling for Tim. She asks if she can say who is calling. I start to say something, then pause and say… “No, you can’t say who is calling!!!!” As she passes off the phone I hear, “She’s really pissed at me!” Turns out it was our buddy Abigail, who did NOT sound like herself answering the phone, and as soon as Tim tells me who it is, I insist he put her back on so I can apoligize. As I told her, “I didn’t know it was you, I didn’t recognize your voice!! (Nor did she mine), and dammit, I just can’t be that cool an ex-girlfriend just yet!” (I can tell him that Jessica Alba is going to be a stripper in Sin City, but damn, no young female voices should be answering his phone at this point in time!) A good laugh was had all around, and we’ll likely be meeting up next weekend for some fun. (I adore Abigail, she punched when she found out we weren’t dating anymore. You can’t ask for more than that in a fellow gal.)