CafeChatNoir

Earlier today my awesome neighbor came over and asked if I had seen anyone around his house today.  Unfortunately, the only clear line of sight I have to their house is if I am standing right at my front window, so I didn’t see anything.  (And I’m pissed at myself about that, trust me.)

It would seem that someone stole their brand damn new snowblower.  That is pretty brazen to say the least and quite the definition of a dick move.

The best I could do was to give my neighbor a flyer from some plumbing contractors that were coming around during the day – maybe one of them saw something.  (Or yes, they would have a truck that could have hauled it off – I don’t know where on the block they might have been doing work.)  I am keeping an eye on Craigslist to see if anything pops up – people are stupid and do try to sell stolen stuff there, so it may very well show up.

To my local friends – should you hear of someone getting a great deal on a kickass snowblower out of nowhere today – please let me know – it could belong to my neighbor.

I am SO mad about this – not just that it happened, but that I didn’t even SEE it.

Cause I’m not feeling it just yet. Could just be the sucky weather reports for the next couple days, but it’s just not been a whole lot better than 2009.

The back window in my car has decided that it doesn’t want to work anymore, which would normally be something that I’d simply leave alone for another time, but unfortunately, the window is open about an inch and a half, and as such, actually needs to be tended to. So, I’m looking at being carless for a couple days and that annoys me, too.

There was a 6.1 magnitude aftershock in Haiti today. WTF, Mother Nature, didn’t have enough fun with the first one?

It’s sounding more and more like the health care legislation may be dead, so yay, I can look forward to my premiums continuing to rise unabated, despite my decent health and fabulous looks, and then being cancelled if I ever have to actually use it.

I have taken to turning off the ringer on the phone in my bedroom and leaving my cell phone downstairs at night because I’m done with answering tax question calls from my grandmother at 3AM. (She has a little problem with boundaries and bothering to look at clocks.) I’m pretty sure this makes me a bad person, but I need sleep to effectively be the CEO of “Keep Grandma out of a Nursing Home, Inc.” and she certainly has no problems picking up the phone during the day.

On the upside, the animals are all quite well. Carmen decided to have herself a good old fashioned feline crazy this morning and was chasing me, the dog, invisible bugs, and anything else that caught her eye. However, the Christmas tree is a little worse for the wear for her fun this morning. She is happily sleeping on my lap as I type this, which thrills Moxley to no end, because it means she is not in his crate. He was not having a super awesome time this afternoon as he couldn’t sleep in his crate because Carmen was in it (why he won’t just walk in and sit on her is beyond me) and Lily kept trying to sleep on his tail and feet. (She LOVES him and is also just a little obsessed with his feet.)

So yeah 2010 – I’m just not impressed so far. We’re stuck with each other for 11+ more months, so let’s get it together, shall we?

You stepped in it again, basically telling an impoverished country that they have no one to blame but themselves for a horrid natural disaster.  Uncaring, unfeeling, and most certainly, unChristian to say the least.

Why couldn’t you have said something like this?

“First, what a terrible tragedy to befall the Haitians.  They are in our prayers.

Second, given that I can marshal some pretty impressive resources with a snap of my fingers, here’s what we’re gonna do.  First,we’re gonna charter some bigassed airplanes.  The biggest that can land at the Port Au Prince airport.  The first one we’re gonna load up with doctors and medical supplies.  The second one will have MRE’s, bottled water and water purification kits.  Third one will be new, clean clothes.  (No Tennessee Lane Kiffin shirts, either.)  The fourth one, we’re gonna go clear out the entire stock of tents and camping equipment at REI, cause a tent is still better than nothing.  And generators.  And we’ll grab some of those kids that work at REI so we’ve got people who know how to put the tents together.

Once we’ve got everyone fed, safe and in clean socks and underwear, we’re gonna start sending planes filled with building equipment and as many retired Seabees as we can get our hands on and start fixing things.”

But no, you decided to go with the, “It’s your own damn fault for making a pact with Satan” approach.  Yeah, I guess you could have easily gone either way.

Because it seems we’ve decided to let the terrorists win by making flying commercially so inconvenient and unpleasant that not even the terrorists will get on board, much less anyone else.  Sure, this could be a boon to RV rentals, rail & boat travel, but I’m not really sure that’s the best idea.

To the jackass pants bomber with Daddy issues:  I hope you have the meanest nurse on the wing you are in, your burns get infected and you get Necrotizing fasciitis.  And that they only have ham sandwiches for meals.  I hope after you got tackled on the plane, someone kicked you in the nuts for good measure.

Jasper Schuringa: Well done.  Northwest/Delta should be giving you free first class flights for the rest of your life.

Pants bomber Dad:  You tried to warn people.  I do give you credit for that.

Al Qaeda:  Dredging the bottom of the barrel now, aren’t we?  Guess it shows you’re being progressive to recruit from the short bus brigade.

TSA:  Let’s start by revoking that passing audit on Lagos International Airport, shall we?  Just how big was that briefcase full of cash to make that happen, anyway?  (Yes, I said it.)

State Department:  Why did he still have a visa?  Wasn’t he on an “We don’t think we really want this guy around, but we don’t know enough to flat out put him on the no-fly list” list?  Why wasn’t that enough to say, “Sorry, we get to be arbitrary about some things, and this is one of them, we’re revoking your visa.”?

Amsterdam Airport: Weren’t you guys supposed to re-screen this twit?  What happened?

And last but not least, would an flight originating in Nigeria passing through Amsterdam with this guy on the manifest be welcome at Ben Gurion airport?  Had this guy even been allowed on the first leg of the flight, would Israeli security have been waiting at Amsterdam to escort him off?  I really don’t know the answer – just wondering, because they seem to have the security thing down.

But really TSA, let’s not go knee-jerk on this.  Get mad at the other airports that failed before the flight even left the tarmac.  Making everyone miserable to show that you’re “doing something” for the sake of “doing something” isn’t the answer.

Can you tell I’m really looking forward to our flight home?

and in an apparently brilliant attempt to recover, pulled into a tree.  I can only assume that he was driving in the fog with his brights on.  (It would seem this will in fact make me crash my car someday.)

The aerial shots of the “crash scene” are so very telling.  The story they tell is, “Tiger has a nice house.”

He’s already been released from the hospital, so he’s not dead.  The police have said alcohol was not a factor, so no scandal.

I can see where this would mention a 60 second spot in the sports report on the evening news.  Beyond that, there are very few people in the America that have a pressing need to know all this, and to know it every break during the football game.  (Or DURING the football game for that matter.)

Those people with a pressing need to know are his family, and I’m guessing they already are up on all the news.  Other than that, his agent and his sponsors, and I’m quite certain they’ve all been in communication today.

God I hate the 24 hour news cycle.

And that is never good.  Everywhere I have ever worked the rule was, “If Cindy has a twitching eye, leave her alone for a bit.  Really, it’s in your best interest.”  My grandmother never got this memo, hence her contributions to my visual seizures when she was in town, and her continuing contributions even when 2,000 miles away.

As my grandmother’s dementia/Alzheimer’s/whatever-the-hell-it-is has progressed, I’ve gotten more and more used to the odd calls.  And I have done my level best to answer those calls with sincerity and good humor.

Tonight however, was a new one.

“Where would I go to get a photo for an ID?”

*Idiot that I am, I just answered without further inquiry.*

“Um, most drug stores that do photo processing will do ID photo type things……….Um, can I ask why?”

“Well, it’s that thing, you know, that says ‘affix a recent photo’.”

*I have no fucking clue what on earth “that thing” could possibly be*

“Can you be a little more specific, because I really have no idea what “that thing” could be.”  (Because as much as she thinks I can – I CAN’T READ A PIECE OF PAPER FROM 2,000 MILES AWAY!!)

“I DON’T REMEMBER!”

*Oh hells bells, my tone has been nothing beyond flat to curious**, neither of which should warrant screaming hostility.  Time to scramble for something to say that won’t get me in more trouble…*

“Well Grandma, I just can’t think of anything besides a passport that would need a recent photo.  Are you planning on flying to Tokyo next week??”

This actually got a good laugh (rare and I relish it when it happens – I really do try to make her laugh.  It usually backfires, but I try.) and an answer that no, no plans to travel to Asia.  I still couldn’t get any more details from her as to what piece of paper she may have found on her desk that asked for a photo – for all I know, it could have been the Extended Studies department of ASU offering her audit privileges, but I suspect not.  I just told her that she had her state ID, which didn’t expire, and I really could not truly imagine anything that would require a “recent photo” at all.***

“Well, no.  It just said, “Attach a recent photo.”

I just told her to not worry on it since I couldn’t think of any piece of paper that required a picture at this point at her age and stage.

But my eye is twitching because I don’t have an answer.  And as much as it pisses me off when I don’t have an answer, it pisses her off that much more.

Hence, the twitching of my left eye.

If she calls tomorrow about it, little bro has instructions to tell her, “Set the piece of paper aside until Monday when Sharyn pops in and can double check it.” (Tomorrow is my day off.)

**Which is really hard to keep my tone in check if I’m not paying attention, so I am REALLY aware of my tone so I don’t come off as a complete bitch on wheels.  Even if I am entitled to be one.
***I thought later maybe, possibly, but highly unlikely – her Rec Center card.  But it’s Sun City and really, is there that much Gray & Wrinkly difference from one year to the next in Sun City?  (NOT being mean.  Just an observation of GenPop there.)  And they usually just send a new expiration date sticker w/no questions asked once you pay the dues in the spring.  And I double checked the AZ website to check that the DNR requirements hadn’t changed – unchanged since 2006.

I realize your job is not glamorous, nor does it pay spectacular wads of cash.  That being said, it is a job that with two weeks of experience, you should be VERY GOOD AT IT.

When a customer checks out and hands you two bags for the groceries, and you have the two following choices, which do you choose?

A) Fill one bag to 150% capacity, ensuring that the one bag will split open in the middle of the parking lot, and leave the other bag empty.

or

B) Try to distribute the groceries somewhat evenly between the two bags so that your customer can have an uneventful walk to the car.

If you are still thinking about it – THE ANSWER IS B YOU NITWITS!!!!!!!!!!!

Additionally, if you choose option A, you are in no way allowed to get all offended when your customer goes two rows down to an empty register and redistributes her groceries so they don’t end up all over the pavement.

I am becoming quite certain this is some edict from management at Giant Food to ensure that customers decide to use the self-checkouts and bag their own groceries because their baggers are so freaking inept.

My grandmother has this little nifty voice-clock thing.  It’s about the size of a car remote, and she has it pinned to the armchair cover where she usually sits.  Hit the button and there is a chime and it gives you the time.  Very, VERY handy when you’re legally blind and even large-font digital clocks are difficult to read.

However, since the last time I was here, a change has been made to the settings.

Now not only will it tell you the time when you hit the button, it now chimes and tells you the time every hour on the hour.

It’s an awesome tool for my grandmother.  As resistant as she has always been to anything that “highlighted” her eyesight issues (or involved technology), I’m glad she actually uses this.

However, after hearing it chime approximately 81 times since we have arrived, (even from the other room it wakes me from a dead sleep every time) – I would very much like to smash it into many, many small pieces.

For the record, I’m not a big fan of China, their policy on Tibet and Taiwan, or their less than stellar track record with human rights, or their habit of putting lead and antifreeze in consumer products…

Judging from the number of protests I’ve seen lately, I’d say I’m definitely not alone.  They wouldn’t have been my first choice for the summer Olympics, and I really don’t understand how they got it if they are so despised by the rest of the world for their practices.  But, the IOC made their decision – if you don’t like it, start writing them angry letters.

But – how the hell does it accomplish anything to attack the Olympic torch runner?  Congratulations, you’ve just attacked one of your fellow countrymen – I’m sure China will sit up and take notice over that.

At the moment, we have police and fire crews trying to get protestors off the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco.  Again, I don’t think the folks in China are glued to CNN and suddenly deciding to change their policies because someone managed to get a Tibetan flag on the bridge.

If you want to protest their practices, fine – but take a minute to think about an effective way to go about it, rather than just looking like a bit of an idiot.  Write your reps in DC, tell them how you feel about the situation.  Cut back on your purchases of Made in China products.  Write the IOC and ask them WHY China got the Olympics in the first place.

But don’t go attacking the guy running the torch through your neighborhood – it’s not his fault and it’s not going to fix anything.

Nothing quite like hunting through the house for a particular power supply.  Managed to find a TON of them, but of course not the one I’m actually looking for.

I suppose this should be incentive to get this place organized, shouldn’t it?