CafeChatNoir

– I like light, fluffy, easy to shovel snow.  I do not like this heavy, wet, nasty crap.

– I STILL wish that my Mom had gotten a gas range instead of the smooth cooktop when she remodeled the kitchen.

– This neighborhood doesn’t lose power very often.  I have really gotten spoiled.

– Being without power for 15 1/2 hours sucks.  For anyone whose power has been out longer, that has to REALLY suck.  You have my condolences.

– If I have to sleep with no heat again, I need to remember to throw my jeans and shirt under the covers, because very cold jeans aren’t particularly comfortable to put on in the morning.

– Next August, I am getting a damn snowblower.  Unlike last August, when I said to myself, “No, it’s silly and excessive and an overreaction to one bad winter.”  I do not need a giant industrial version, just something to make storm cleanup a touch easier.

– I will also remember to get the water balloon slingshot when they are on sale so I can knock the snow from the tops of the cypresses in the backyard from the office window.

– A generator might be nice, but that may be going over the top.

– Since the power has returned, Carmen & Lily have been taking turns sleeping in front of the heat register.

– Many, MANY thanks to the custodian that let me in to retrieve Spot the Gecko.  I suppoose she decided it best to not get in the way of a crazy woman on a mission to rescue a small animal.  It helps that “I’m a sub this week and next and need to get the classroom gecko!” would be a very odd thing to just make up.

– I have a leopard gecko for the next 5 days.  I’ve read the care sheets online, but if anyone has any fun or interesting information that might be helpful, I’d like that.

Can we keep it that way?? PLEASE?! The past 36 hours have gone exceptionally well – and I am counting NYE in there, cause it might as well be the New Year. Got all gussied up and had a chance to wear my grandmother’s absolutely outrageous yet awesome ring that I’d not found a reason to wear so far*.

Saw some kickass bluegrass by Over Under Down Yonder, with not one, but TWO spectacular gentlemen, followed by many, many New Year’s smooches at the pub. Had an excellent sleep-in this morning, followed by an afternoon of catching up on my TiVo. (Dr. Who Christmas Special FTW. I want a flying shark.) To top it all off, the Caps won the Winter Classic this evening.  Suck it, Penguins.

Really, it’s already going SO much better than this time last year where I was fielding calls from my grandmother yelling at me because we had “just up and left in the middle of the night.” (Mind you, we stayed at a hotel, but no, she was fine and didn’t need any help with anything and no one could possibly think that anything was amiss. *I* was the one with the problem.)

To top it all off, you and Mother Nature are throwing us a bone – it’s a good 60 degrees out there. I appreciate your giving us a tiny break to reassure us that spring will eventually show up again. We’ve got our somewhat-delayed Christmas day after tomorrow, and that is going to be excellent as well.

Really – so far, so good and I absolutely ADORE it! Let’s keep it up, shall we?!!

The icing on the cake has been watching Carmen get high on a catnip birthday cake this evening and having Lily in my lap purring like an Evinrude outboard.

It’s gonna be a good year.

*When grandma went into the care center, Sharyn said, “Go get your grandmother’s jewelry from her house.”
Me: “I feel like I’m stealing!”
Her: “Take it home and WEAR IT. It’s just been sitting in her dresser drawers for at least the past three years! Someone should enjoy it, dammit!”
She’s got some spectacular costume jewelry, and none of it has seen the light of day in a good 20 years.

Sent out 2010 with a bang – bluegrass in Old Town!

Glad to have the year behind me. Tons I want to accomplish in 2011, and with grandma in the care center, I feel like I have a shot in hell in actually doing that. Getting her a full professional staff sure has made my life a hell of a lot easier.

I’m giving a 365 photos a shot this year. Kicks off with a somewhat blurry shot of Moxley and his uber-fluffy haircut.

With three good, easy days in a row, I should have known there would be a bad day. At least it wasn’t *on* Christmas, so that’s something!

Given that my grandmother had *zero* interest in going back to her room after lunch unlike every other day so far, I should have realized something was up. She went back & forth with knowing who we were (that doesn’t bother me at all – maybe it should, but it doesn’t) – unfortunately she realized it was us (or my parents) just enough to get all spooled up about paying for dinner, money, her checkbook, her wallet, etc, etc, etc. All the things she doesn’t worry about when her brain has decided to happily park itself circa 1978, or what she worried about 24/7 for the past 3 years before hitting the care center. Yay family time?

Seems the lunchtime Xanax didn’t kick in today, and our presence threw things into just enough disarray in her mind to make things that much worse. The memory resets and the repeated questions aren’t fun, but I can deal with them. The anxiety? Not so much – just kills me every time.

Attempting to make a graceful exit was a bit of a challenge – especially when you know that YOU are the cause of the anxiety, but leaving could also cause MORE anxiety… This is where the care center is a godsend. We could tell my grandmother that we needed to go run some errands, warn Andrea (her CNA) about how wound up she’d gotten thanks to our presence, and head on out knowing that dinner would be in a hour (a good distraction for her) and Xanax (thank god for pharmaceuticals) and then bed around 7:30 – and she has multiple people around her to reassure her that it isn’t the end of the world. Fortunately, Andrea says she doesn’t have days like this terribly often (thankyoujesus) and everyone knows the “right” answers to queries about checkbooks and wallets and such.

As Donald pointed out, if it wasn’t for the care center, she’d be up and worrying herself sick until 2AM – and we’d get the brunt of it. These people are saints.

Christmas out here is weird enough as it is. Christmas always seems to be something happening back on the East coast while we’re here trying to find somewhere to eat dinner. This year has been one for the books.

First, it’s 70 degrees. Don’t get me wrong – it’s GREAT. But we haven’t had weather this nice any other year we’ve been here, so it’s odd. (This is year 4 out here for the holidays…)

Got to the care center today and grandma was in a lovely mood, up and ready for lunch and absolutely zero recognition of who we were. (And it didn’t seem to bother her one bit, and we weren’t going to cause problems.) But, we had a nice lunch and she liked her presents, so it’s all good. Classic moment: After lunch, we’re sitting in her room chatting, and she rolls herself out the door and says, “OK, well, turn the lights off when you leave!” We took that as our cue that she was done with visitors for the day. :)

There is a football game starting in about an hour and a half right next door. This is great because all the restaurants at Westgate are open this evening. If you lived in the area, I can see how a Christmas evening football game could be fun – and others must agree since the parking lots are filled with tailgaters. However, the hotel is also filled with football fans and I can’t say I can really wrap my head around traveling at Christmas for a sporting event. Hell, I’m not even thrilled with traveling at Christmas for Christmas itself, so this is really lost on me.

It’s just been a really, really odd day.

Cause I’ve got a head cold coming on. Seriously, every damn year it happens and I end up having to justify being ill to my grandmother. (Every year, she has been convinced that Donald & I have our holiday colds on purpose. I have never pointed out that it may be thanks to the stress of visits with her.)

We leave a week from tomorrow and I am booked Monday to Wednesday of next week. However, I have no bookings tomorrow or Friday – and I am going to be leaving it that way. Figure a couple extra days of sleeping and eating everything in sight*, I might have a tiny chance of heading this nonsense off at the pass and not feeling like death at 30,000 feet.

Now, this exact situation is why I love subbing. I have already set myself to unavailable for the next two days, because I feel a cold APPROACHING. Not because I am already at death’s door, not because I cannot function, but because I am trying to stay somewhat well in the first place. Even better, I can do this and NO ONE GIVES ME ANY CRAP ABOUT IT!!!! This is definitely a new and novel experience for me with any kind of employment situation, and I have to say, I’m liking it.

*Ridiculous amounts of sleep and comfort food – that’s how you treat a cold.

Yes, it seems that magnificent time-suck having is some DNS issues resulting in it being inaccessible again this afternoon. Not the end of the world, but if you’re a true Facebook junkie, you may find yourself at a loss as to what to do with this newfound free time. Here’s a few suggestions if you decide that curling up in the fetal position and waiting for it to come back up is a little boring.

- Reintroduce yourself to your family. Face to face – you know, talking. Think hard – it’s what you did before Facebook chat
- Read a book.
- Go for a walk (Outside – it’s like FrontierVille, but it renders faster.)
- If you have cats, play with them. (Though they may point out to you that 4PM is for sleeping, and 4AM is for playing – at least mine did.)
- Play ball with the dog.
- Knit something.
- Catch up on some of those TiVo shows you’ve been ignoring while playing Farmville.
- Make something to eat. (Note: Unlike CafeWorld, It will likely take more than three clicks.)
- Take a nap. (Remember sleep? It’s what you used to do before you were constantly trying to level up in Mafia Wars.)
- Figure out how you can be the next Mark Zuckerberg and become a billionaire with a movie treatment.
- If you’re lucky enough to have a job in this economy, your boss would probably like you to do something actually related to said job.

I’d add more, but WOOHOO, FACEBOOK IS BACK UP AGAIN!

Not that I really care that much, it just caught my eye while scanning the headlines this evening.

Let’s see, she served 14 days of a 90 day jail sentence, and then 22 days of a 90 day court ordered rehab program.

Can’t imagine how she could have walked out no better than she was the day she walked in.

And really – who in their right mind really thought she would have been able to get herself together in that amount of time?

I’ll admit that I am having a few problems getting all my brain cells facing the same direction since I’ve returned from my 11 days of adventures in eldercare that ended shockingly well. (For those that are still catching up, Grandma cracked her pelvis, 4 1/2 days in the hospital, off to a spectacular rehab center that she seems to actually like – and I LOVE.) Rehab time is undetermined, but if she still likes the place when it’s done, she can stay, otherwise it’s home w/ 24/7 assistance.)

First off, I am completely freezing my ass off. When I was in Phoenix, the highs were between 95 and 110 each day, and I was acclimated to it instantaneously. While I won’t bullshit you and say “Oh, but it’s a dry heat” because it certainly isn’t anymore, it’s certainly a heat that is a far sight drier than Virginia. I got off the plane at National and immediately felt the need for a sweater. Someone threw a switch while I was gone and we went from summer to fall damn near instantaneously. Don’t get me wrong – the weather has been GORGEOUS since I got back – but I came home prepared for more of the 90s and humid that I left, rather than low 80s and dry that has actually been here.

When I was in Phoenix, I rented a Wrangler X – normally I get a motorized rollerskate because I cannot judge what cars in the rental inventory will actually fit in my grandmother’s garage other than the super-compact. (This has not been helped with the knowledge that my Mom managed to crease a quarterpanel on a rental car in said garage the last time she was there.) No garage issues this time, so I told the rental agent when he informed me I could get an upgrade, “Well, do you have any of the Wranglers? Cause this trip is gonna suck, so I might as well have a fun car.” The only problem was it was a 4-banger, and I quickly learned that I had to stand on the gas to get any giddyup out of it. Come home to my Liberty 6-banger, and I damn near gave myself whiplash when I tried to drive yesterday. Today was somewhat better. I suspect that by Monday I’ll no longer look like a 17 year old learning to drive a stick shift. It’s especially bad since my Liberty is an automatic. (Mind you, I still covet the Wrangler X – just in a V6.)

Finally, and the most disconcerting – I am having some real problems wrapping my brain around the fact that we are hurtling our way towards mid-September. Last night I looked at a piece of paper for a Football Survival league that said “Money in by Sept 8th” and I said out loud, “Well, that’s still a week off.” (Thanks to my brother for pointing out that it we were actually a day past it. And thanks to the organizer that took my entry anyway.) Seriously, when I left town it was still August! And HOT! Honestly, the only way you could prove to me I was gone for 11 days would be to show me my hotel bill. Other than that, it was a complete and utter blur and all the days completely ran together. It was such an expedition down the rabbit hole from start until finish, that without documentation, I couldn’t tell you if I’d been out there five days or a full month. One thing that I have never faulted my grandmother for was the fact that she had to look at her calendar to see what day it was – lord knows I had to look every morning while I was there , and by noon I still forgot what part of the week we were in. Oh, and I was the one who supposedly had all her faculties intact. It’s very weird to have 11 days basically dematerialize – probably made worse by missing Labor Day weekend – not having that ceremonial “change of season” can really muck with your brain, especially when you come back and everyone else has had it except you.

Hopefully going for a hard-core “sleep late and be a lazy bum” weekend will help me somewhat get back into sync with the universe come Monday. We’ll see!

Were there little ones in my life, apparently I could be a “helicopter parent” and would need to be chased off by some Universities.

Colleges Shoo Away Helicopter Parents

I’ll admit that the concept of “helicopter parent” is still somewhat foreign to me, despite what I have read. The rallying cry of my childhood was, “I’ll do it MYSELF!!” and my folks did everything they could to let me “do it myself” right up until the point where I would injure myself. When it came to college, my folks helped me move into my dorm room, and then I seem to recall chasing them off like they had some highly communicable disease.

I still remember being exceptionally conflicted one winter break when my Dad told me, “Hey, our office needs a receptionist over Christmas break, would you be interested in doing that instead of temping?” While the job sounded great, I also didn’t want to be “Don’s daughter” at the office, lest people think I was just a dingbat whose Dad got her a Christmas job. On top of that, everyone adored him, and I didn’t want to disappoint him, and also wanted NO treatment that was different than anyone else because he was my Dad.

I ended up taking the job and it was great – because everyone (including, and maybe especially, my Dad) was more than willing to dump any and all work on me that they thought I could handle. Right there I knew that I wasn’t a token timesheet. However, I will admit that a perk of working with your Dad is that he will make sure you get lunch before the cafeteria closes for the afternoon. The worst day was the first day – I busted my butt to accomplish anything and everything asked of me – and I wore heels. Then Dad wanted to go Christmas shopping afterwards. I certainly wasn’t going to say, “No Dad, my feet hurt!” I seem to recall walking around Tower Books & Records in Tyson’s in my aching stocking feet, and trying very hard not to cry from the pain. (I’m fairly certain I wore flats for the rest of the engagement.)

The only real time Dad intervened was when I came walking downstairs one morning with a skintone somewhere between green & grey – he took one look at me and said, “You go back to bed, NOW. We can cover the rest for the day.” He was right, as I was rather violently ill for the rest of the day. (Occasionally, parents do know what they’re talking about.)

But that was really the extent of my parents involvement in my college and professional life. Had I asked for assistance, they would have gladly provided it, but they never said, “Let us handle this for you.” It was always, “If we can help somehow, let us know.”

Now, if I had a little one of my own, I am quite sure I’d be insanely protective of them. However, I would also like to think that I’d raised them in such a manner that when the time came to do things on their own, they could do it without my intervening on every level. I really can’t comprehend getting terribly involved in their college careers other than providing $$ for tuition and board, and being a sounding board when they needed it, or getting involved in the job process other than, “Want me to fake interview you?” In my mind, beyond that, you’re not helping, you’re just hindering their independence.

Stability results were moderately low which suggests you are worrying, insecure, emotional, and anxious.

Orderliness results were low which suggests you are overly flexible, improvised, and fun seeking at the expense too often of reliability, work ethic, and long term accomplishment.

Extraversion results were medium which suggests you are moderately talkative, outgoing, sociable and interacting.

trait snapshot:
messy, disorganized, not rule conscious, rebellious, rash, weird, ambivalent about chaos, likes bizarre things, anti-authority, not good at saving money, not a perfectionist, leaves many things unfinished, low self control, strange, desires more attention, romantic daydreamer, abstract, impractical, unproductive, leisurely, likes the unknown

If I didn’t know better, I’d swear it was trying to say, “Go home.”

I cannot relax. Seriously. My companions are great, the food is spectacular and the water is awesome, but I *cannot* relax.

If this were a one week stay and we were leaving on Friday, I’d go ahead and pack it in now, because I can be this tense at home. I can only guess it is a confluence of many small things because I can’t put my finger on any one big thing, and I’m finding it very difficult to enjoy myself because I just can’t shake this underlying, unidentifiable stress.

Friday morning Carmen had a (quite literal) massive hissy fit upon being dropped off at the kennel. (What idiot doesn’t know to leave the cat in the crate until the cat is ready to come out of the crate on its own? Oh – that would be me. I don’t know WHAT I was thinking.) However, her scaling the front of the 6′ bank of “suites” and installing herself in a kitty cube at the top was tactically impressive. Always go for the high ground. I did speak to the kennel later and they said she’d calmed down and both had eaten dinner enthisiastically and they were both fine if “a bit reserved” – reserved still being better than hissing at everyone that comes within 2 feet.

No cell reception for anyone in the house. Last year we were on the cusp, and this year the trees have grown just enough to knock it out altogether. Purchased internet seems to be working for others, but very slow & sketchy at best for me – I am not one that needs to be connected 24/7, but some level of access to the rest of the world is nice, and there are some internet based services I will need to use over the course of two weeks. (And it seems to work best when I enable wi-fi on my phone and then tether that to the laptop – I really don’t think that should work better, but it does.) This after my laptop decided to puke all over itself on Saturday and simply decide to not work properly. I got it going again, but I still have no idea what went wrong in the first place.

Massive insomnia 2 out of 4 nights, that I cannot ascribe to anything other than an inability to turn my brain off.

Thunderstorms Saturday and today, which is leaving the dog decidedly unimpressed with beach life.

I guess the phone ringing off the hook 24/7 the last two years down here just blocked out all the other little annoyances. Or maybe I have just never really mastered the art of relaxing – it never was one of my strong points. But I can’t say I really relish the idea of always being tense until I die…

Not all my stuff, but I have noticed lately that there are certain items in my life that seem to simply disappear. Some reappear in spades after replacement, but not all. I will admit to being more than a tad stymied by it all.

1. Mini Mag Lites. Every July I go and buy 4 Mini Mag Lites for the beach trip. It’s the middle of summer, thunderstorms and power outages happen, and if you’re in an unfamiliar house, it’s nice to have a little flashlight on the nightstand should you wake in the middle of the night and have to make your way to the bathroom without breaking an ankle. (I do try to be the hostess with the mostest.) We go to the beach with 4 little flashlights and come home with 4 flashlights in the Beach Equipment Box. By Christmas, I am lucky if there are still two of these flashlights in the box or the pencil holder on the kitchen desk. By March I am usually down to one flashlight and both bulbs have burned out on it…

This begs the question – where the hell did the other 3 flashlights go? In theory, they should turn up in various places about the house as I go about my day to day business. Except that they don’t. If I ever move out of here, I am quite certain I am going to find some sort of packrat nest that has about 20 Mini Mag Lites in it.

2. Hex keys. Given all the various and sundry things I have purchased from Ikea over the years, I should have at least 3 of every size and shape of hex key available. And yet, I have none. (And right now, I need some.)

3. Hair clips. These do a disappearing and reappearing act. As soon as I am down to one of these spring loaded barrettes, I go snag another 3 pack of them at the drug store. And a week later, I find I have a dozen of them.

4. Fluffy black socks. A few weeks into the fall, it’s always the same thing. I find I have 4 pairs of fluffy black socks to wear with my Timberlands. I check the pending laundry – no fluffy black socks. I hit Kohls, get a six pack of socks, and three days later, I will do a load of laundry and there are 10 pairs of fluffy black socks in it… The upside is that I won’t run out of socks for near three weeks, but seriously – WHERE WERE MY SOCKS????

I’d blame the cats, but this has been going on for too long, and even during the year I was catless. (I can’t blame the dog, he’s not much into the ‘taking stuff and hiding it’ games.)

Well over 50% of the underlying issues with last night’s insomnia was the fact that I could not shut my brain off, and tonight, I feel like I’m right in the same place.

Part of the reason I’m not feeling particularly optimistic about the sweet escape to dreamland is that my brain has been going about 150MPH all day today, and it’s only gotten worse as the day has progressed into the evening. It’s been a day where every self-doubt, every question of choices made, and the rest of my mental flotsam and jetsam has decided to come bubbling up to the surface.

I was talking with a friend earlier about a mutual friend who had gone off and tried something new and potentially terrifying. Granted, it was a no-lose situation, but he went outside his comfort zone to do it. And we were both proud of him for the attempt, regardless of the outcome.

There was a time where I told The Universe, “Bring it on!!” Which she did, in spades. (Yeah, tempting Fate in the first place ain’t the greatest idea.)

But she’s winged about as much as she could at my head, and I’ve managed to survive it.

However, it’s left me ridiculously gun-shy. And I really hate that I’ve become a rather timid person for it – for no other reason that I’m tired of the fact that the Fates decided to have a psychotic break while cutting my strings.

But I just don’t want to discover that The Universe has more fun and games in store for me. I’ve had enough at this point, thankyouverymuch.

When you can’t convince yourself that anything new won’t end in spectacular disaster, it’s hard to psych yourself up for anything new and outside your comfort zone.

It’s quite an annoying spot to find yourself in.

So, I was sitting here a little while ago, minding my own business and paying some bills. An average day.

Then I hear a hissing noise coming from the right side of my laptop table. At first, I thought it was the soda can. Then I saw what appeared to be steam or smoke shooting sideways from the vicinity of my AirCard, but I still couldn’t really figure out what exactly was happening.

Then I heard a pop. Which as it turns out, was the battery cover to my AirCard being shot across my coffee table. Then things started happening in a rather rapid and disturbing succession.

The battery on the AirCard then shot out of the battery slot, ON FIRE. Not just smoking and threatening fire, actually shooting out FIRE in several directions. I’m then jumping up, cursing in several languages I never knew I was fluent in while half my brain is screaming PUT IT OUT, PUT IT OUT!!! While the other half of my brain is thinking, “Dear lord, my life has just turned into the ‘Caravaning in Dorset’ episode on Top Gear.”

I then upended a near full can of Coke over the entire thing. (Guess it’s a good thing I wasn’t drinking vodka.) Then dumped it in a large glass of water in the kitchen. Then stood there for a while just wondering WTF had just happened.

Guess it’s time to see if I am eligible for an upgrade on my AirCard.

It was a brilliant plan that you and American Express had. I use my AmEx card, I get a Costco rebate voucher every year. It gets me in the door where I will proceed to be blinded by all things Costco and spend at least twice as much as the voucher is worth. Really, it’s a genius plan.

So, I marched into Costco today with my $152.57 voucher, loaded my cart with software, dry goods, batteries, dog biscuits and cases of glass bottle Mexican Coke*.

Not only did I not spend an extra $150 like you had so hoped, I got $1.67 in change at the checkout. HA! I WIN!!

*Hecho en Mexico are three beautiful words when it comes to Coca Cola.

Or maybe it’s just that freakishly hot week of weather we normally get right smack in the middle of spring just about every year.

Two days of 90 degrees, today is 80 degrees, it’s sunny, there is NO SNOW, and frankly, I don’t mind it a bit. (Though I do know that my allergy prone friends are in a bit of agony, but that is DC in spring.) Though it did throw me a little this morning, as I had read that today would be rainy & cool and instead I woke up to 80 and sunny, and discovered that the rain forecast has been pushed off to this evening. I’m not sure what it says about me that I can be thrown off by a change in the weather, but what can I say – I’d went to bed mentally prepped for a cool and rainy day!

Today’s challenge is seeing how close I can come to spending $152.57 at Costco. (Annual Costco cashback thing from my AmEx card.) I need Turbo Tax and AA batteries. The challenge of filling out that amount with things I actually *need* rather than just go “Oooh, good deal!” and then not spending another $300 on top of the $150. A challenge indeed. (And if nothing else, free lunch via samples!)

Well, off to blind people with my insanely white legs – sorry world, I have to wear shorts today.

So, Forbes came out with their list of the 25 wealthiest counties in the United States, and my home county of Fairfax came in second. (Congrats to Loudon for coming in at #1.)

The median household income in Fairfax County is $106,785

Wow – sorry to my fellow residents for seriously dragging down the average.  I’ve lived and worked here for longer than I care to admit, and not even on my BEST year did I have a household income even within spitting distance of $106K.

Now, maybe it’s high because it’s a per household number and not per capita, and we have a lot of dual income families in the county.  Or, it could just be that I am a total slacker to never really aspired to much of anything.  :)

OK, not really weird, but I like the alliteration.

– YAY for having friends working at a decent auto service station!  They can tell you the best time to show up to get your headlight replaced so you’re only waiting for five minutes instead of three hours.  (And bonus points for him getting the job done in no time flat despite the fact that I was seriously hovering watching what he was doing – only to come to the conclusion that had I tried to do it myself, I’d have likely broken $750+ of other car parts in the process.)

– Spring training is underway!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Enough said.

– Yet another “NBC, you do seem to WANT to lose $200M on the Olympics given the way you’re doing this coverage” annoyance.  I really enjoy Curling.  The commentators seem to like it, too.  They talk about how each throw can make a difference.  And yet NBC will cut to commercials and skip 4 ends.  That, and I have also seen the same damn interviews of the same damn medal winners multiple times.  Kids, you did good, but your 15 minutes are OVER the second the next event starts.  I don’t care how you did it for the time being, because I would like to see others do their thing to get a medal rather than an interview with you.  It’s nothing personal, I’m just trying to see as many events as I can, and your interviews are really screwing that up.

– And on another sports note, I finally can admit that I can see the advantage to HDTV.  I have a normal TV, and it’s fine.  They say HDTV is awesome for sports – my only experience with it has been up at the pub.  Yes, it’s great because I can see the scores much easier on the screen.  But I have no need to see every individual blades of grass on the field.  HOWEVER – when you’re watching Curling??!?  You can EASILY see which stone is closest to the center.  Yes, Curling of all sports has made me an HDTV convert.

– More Curling.  I didn’t get to see a whole lot of Curling in the Torino Olympics because I was still spending an inordinate amount of time trying to teach people how to use my company’s accounting software, and I was being taunted on a near daily basis by my brother sending me IM’s of “I’ve seen more Curling before 9AM than most people see in a lifetime.”  But what I did see, I really liked.  And this go round, I’m not the only one.  I have come to the conclusion that it is an Olympic event that people watch and say, “Hey, that is something I could learn how to do!” Not necessarily on an Olympic level, but it’ss something that looks fun and doable for your normal person with the desire to learn the game.  You can’t really say that about a lot of the other events.  (I would have said it about cross country skiing until Petra Majdic skidded off the course and ended up with four broken ribs and a punctured lung.  I’ll stick with being the girl at the lodge ordering everyone’s drinks.)

– Even more Curling.  It’s become a well enough known event that no one even batted an eye as I found myself YELLING at the TV at the pub watching the Canadian ladies versus the ladies from Denmark.  I even had people asking me if a point had been scored.  (Thanks to little bro for giving me the scoring/hammer refresher course when things kicked off.  There aren’t a lot of televised Curling events outside of the Games.)  OH CANADA!

– The Snow.  It really needs to seriously melt down.  We’re supposedly getting a wintry mix turning to rain on Monday, and I am all for it.  The awesomedog even moreso.  The poor little guy is losing his mind.  He has the track I cut for him through the backyard, and he is willing to go snowplowing through the rest if he sees something interesting, but it’s certainly not the same as having his whole yard to bounce around in.  So he’s going a tiny bit nuts.  As am I – I love that the snowcover makes everything brighter, which is great in the winter.  However, I am wondering about permanent retinal damage due to the snowblindness every time I look out the window.

– Lent.  It’s somewhat entertaining to watch the confused looks of people when you have given up/tried to improve/done a few more good things for Lent and you’re not Catholic  I don’t do it to mock, it just seems like a slightly better idea to try and improve things during the Lenten season than doing the 1/1 resolution thing that gets broken within a week anyway.  (Despite my lack of overt religiousness, I do still have a few shreds of faith left, so it works for me.)

– And tomorrow is Saturday, so I can sleep in with no guilt over it whatsoever.  Hoorah for weekends.

Well, less the boatloads of snow on the ground, but what a nice, easy, relaxing Sunday it’s been.

Watching the cats watch the coffee pot is wonderful entertainment.  (Yes, I am easily entertained, but so are they.  I suspect this is why they picked me at the animal shelter.)  Drank coffee, played some Scrabble and watched the Olympic Biathlon action.

Then off to the mall for a little retail therapy.  Paid what could be considered an exorbitant amount of money for a tube of mascara, but Clinique glossy is the only one I’ve ever used that doesn’t clump up and make you look like a tarantula is sitting on your eyes.  (Drug store stuff doesn’t cut it – I have found that Loreal “Voluminous” works by clumping all your eyelashes together into one big eyelash.  It’s not a good look for me.)

Popped into Bath & Body Works to discover a buy two, get one free deal on their aromatherapy stuff.  Well, Happy Valentine’s to ME!  Lemongrass Cardamom stress relief goodies.  (I don’t really know or care if it actually relieves stress, they just smell nice.)

Finished it off with a late lunch at La Tolteca over the latest copy of Vanity Fair.  (Fluff?  Maybe, but it’s at least written by folks with a strong command of the English language.)

And now I’m kicking back again with more coffee and trying to figure out how one actually steers a luge sled.  I’m thinking there is likely more to it than “close your eyes and pray.”

I LOVE the Olympics.  I spent the last week trapped in my house by snow, I’ll spend the next two weeks trapped by choice.  I just wish NBC wasn’t doing such a craptastic job with the broadcast – but given that they seem to be OK with losing $200 million on this, I can’t expect them to actually care about putting together good coverage.  If they cut all the damn human interest stories and in-studio commentary, they could *gasp* show more events.  Or take 2 minutes and show me how a luge sled works.  (That would be a story of interest to this human.)

I also love that it brings out such great national pride for everyone and it doesn’t have a damn thing to do with politics.  Just good old fashioned feats of strength, and you’ve gotta love that.

~~~~~~~~~

I’ve put out a bunch of birdseed out on the snow on the deck.  The cats are going to lose their minds.  I really thought Carmen was going to explode when the squirrels showed up.  Speaking of the cats, I still do not understand how two rather petite felines (6 & 7.5#) can sound like baby rhinoceroses when they’re playing upstairs.  I’m never quite sure if they’re just having fun or if the roof is caving in.

~~~~~~~~~

I’ve been playing a lot of Scrabble this past week on Facebook, because there’s not a lot else to do when snowed in and I figure it’s good for my brain.  I used to think I was a relatively intelligent person, but given my win-loss record and ranking, I’m starting to think that perhaps it’s unsafe for me to be left unsupervised.  Today I actually had to play the word cat.  CAT.  I think that automatically knocks 50 points off your ranking.

~~~~~~~~~

We’re supposed to get more snow on Monday.  Just a clipper, maybe 3-6″ – basically a normal snowfall for around here.  I find myself completely scoffing at it.  This is what a winter with 70″ of snow will do to you.

Yeah, I know, it’s technically Tuesday, but the muse is still on PHX time.

– Carmen is about 91% back to normal. She still looks at the ceiling fans with a suspicious eye, but is back to hanging out in the living room, and decided food was the winner in the fear of ceiling fan vs. eating in the bedroom. It may seem silly that it worried me as much as it did, but it’s just a tiny bit heartbreaking to not be able to explain that the ceiling fan is not a predator. Lily still looks at the ceiling fans and then looks at me with an expression of, “Seriously, I don’t get the issue here.” Or it’s, “WTF, why is the fan off?” I’m not quite sure which it is.

– Is it wrong that when I come in and want to know where the kittens are I say, “Where are my single ladies?!” and then sing a few bars from Beyonce’s Single Ladies song? They do show up when I sing it. (And I use the term “singing” loosely.)

– Sharyn* called today, and I’ll admit my first thought when seeing her number on the Caller ID was, “WTF has my grandmother done???” Yes, I know I’m going to hell for that. But, it was just an update. First being that the hot water heater is ON – and to expect some calls about that. (I couldn’t even get her to voluntarily leave it on when we stayed with her. So I just turned it on and didn’t tell her.) But, she’s not been super great about showering of late, for several understandable reasons that I am completely speculating upon because she won’t actually tell anyone:

a) Afraid she’ll fall & hurt herself
b) Not like she’s out running a marathon
c) Doesn’t give a rat’s ass, cause she’s 87 years old
d) Hot water costs money

But Sharyn is getting her a shower seat (the shower has a built in bench, but she could quite easily slide right off it it – hell, *I* could slide off it were I not paying attention) and will be there so my grandmother knows if she has any issues, help is immediately there. (And as Sharyn said, “Hell, if she wants me to get naked too, I’ll do it.” God bless this woman.)

Additionally, we’d previously talked about Meals on Wheels for more hot food options**, but they’re kind of insistent on “coming in & helping” and my grandmother just is NOT comfortable having strangers about (which I think is a good thing) and Sharyn did a little more poking around and one of the local hospitals does a pretty kick ass meal plan that can be picked up, which is better for all helping out. Given my grandmother’s good financial situation***, it will cost……$4 a meal. Christ, our Chinese takeout tonight cost way more than that. And she was reading one of the menus to me – Swiss steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, salad & milk. Hell, where do *I* sign up for that?

I’m very glad she found this, cause she has been cooking up things to take over to my grandmother, which is awesome, but I’m really glad to have this off her plate (so to speak) because I do worry that she’s doing too much already, despite her protestations to the contrary.

* The angel sent from heaven to Sun City to prevent me from tossing my grandmother into the middle of traffic on Bell Road.
** My grandmother would live on sandwiches & ice cream if left to her own devices. I am at the point of “Whatever the hell she wants” but I am outvoted, LOL. She will eat *anything* you put in front of her, but will never admit that she’d like anything beyond sandwiches & ice cream. As I have said before, she’s taken self deprivation to an art form.
*** I have told my grandmother on more than a few occasions that if I had her resources at her age, I’d be ordering Lobster Thermador & a Cabana Boy every night. I will be getting the contact info for this hospital meal plan and a nice donation will be made so they can help a few more people who *can’t* afford it, because frankly, she’s being ridiculously undercharged for this service.

Hell of a decade and I’m thrilled that it’s in the rear view mirror.  (No, I’m not going to argue that it’s really not the end of the decade because there was no year zero, etc, etc.)

A divorce, 4 jobs, failed relationships, death, destruction, moving, general chaos & a good chunk of family drama.

On the upside, there were 2 of the best cats ever, 2 of the best kittens ever, the awesomedog, a great brother, good friends, and Guinness.  A lot of Guinness.

Hopefully the next decade will have more ups than downs.

I have hit the wall and I am just flat-out exhausted.

Little bro went off to see Avatar, and I was thinking about seeing Up In The Air, but I decided it was too likely that I’d fall asleep in the middle of the movie, or I’d have a coughing fit.  (The head cold is pretty much gone, now I will just sound like a TB patient for the next week and a half.)

I can only assume it’s just the stress of the trip – it’s not really easy to sit around and pretend like everything is just fine and dandy when in reality, my grandmother’s brain is turning to cement.  It’s not like we’ve been partying every night by any means.

The hotel has been a godsend, but it’s no substitute for home.

Him:  We need to find you a boyfriend, because you’re too cool not to have a really good boyfriend.  (This was not meant in a patronizing way, but in a “you should have someone to share the fun with” way.)

Me:  Well, that would kickass, but I have this seriously screwy thing going on with my grandmother, and I can’t realistically expect anyone in their right mind to put up with it, because it’s not their family, and she’s quite off the rails, and she’s still my responsibility.  (Especially given that none of my ex’s could put up w/her in her GOOD days, much less now – I am quite realistic in SOME of my assessments of the current situation!)

Him:  If he’s smart, he has already figured out that her problems are not your fault, and that you’re a really good person for caring and trying to fix it anyway.

Me:  Thank You.  But I’m pretty sure no one on the planet wants to take part in my little radioactive train wreck, but it’s really awesome that you think that someone would.

Granted, these comments tend to come from tethered gentlemen – committed relationships. engaged, married, what-have-you.  But still, as completely locked into the “single because I can’t drag anyone else into my horribly screwed up family dynamics, nor would I trick them into thinking it didn’t exist” status as I am, it really helps me to think that I *CAN* break out of it because there might actually be gentlemen that can see past this ridiculousness and say, “She’s fun, smart and funny, and I’d like to still hang out with her despite her insane relatives.”

I have a to-do list a mile long today, and very little interest in checking anything off of it.  Though, given that the kitchen appears to have been the site of an explosion of sorts, I probably should at least attempt to make a dent in it.

I think the kittens will soon officially be called cats.  They’re 5 months old and just shy of 6 pounds, which was exactly what Dr. Alt predicted.  (Damn, he’s good.)  Given that Target’s weight ranged from 11-13 pounds and Snoopy’s was between 15-18 pounds, Lily & Carmen are pretty tiny in comparison.  It’s like we have miniature cats!

Moxley & I do not have this problem.  We’re both experiencing the joys of middle age metabolism.  I REALLY need to get to the gym tonight…

It’s not often one can say, “My life is in better shape than Tiger Woods” but this week, I’d say there are a LOT of people who can say exactly that.

OK, off to get things done.  Or find something really interesting on the internet.

Upon hearing that Bravo TV was going to do a “Real Housewives of DC” program, I wondered what on earth would constitute a “real” housewife of DC?  Especially since I was fairly certain it wouldn’t be a Mom juggling 3 kids, a house, a budget, a husband and probably a job to boot.

Then when I found out that the party crashers at the White House state dinner were under consideration for said program, I had my answers.

Skanky attention whores with bad dye jobs.

So, it’s looks like it will be just like the rest of the franchise, but maybe with a little less plastic surgery.

# Do you like your handwriting?

It’s not great by any means, but I do like my handwriting. It might take a second look to read some words, but it’s not as bad as a doc’s prescription.

# Do you prefer to print or write in cursive?

No actual preference, as I will switch between printing and cursive at will. (And yet didn’t realize it until my brother pointed it out to me just the other night.)

# Do you think handwriting should be graded in school?

HELLS Yes. Not necessarily “great cursive” (which we *were* graded on) but being able to write something that others could read at a later date.

# Do you prefer writing in pencil or pen?

Pen! Not that I do the NYT crossword in pen or anything like that, but I do prefer pen to pencil for writing, as pens go faster across the page than pencils do.

# When you write in ink, do you prefer a neutral color such as black or blue, or a fun color like purple or green?

I don’t know why, but I HATE blue ink. Black, pink, purple, green – it’s all good. Blue I will only use when there is no alternative. (I never said I was normal.)

***Warning to all gentlemen who may think I am dateable – this may very well change your mind***

I don’t know about anyone else out there, but if I don’t dream, I don’t have a good night’s sleep.  When things are going even marginally well, I dream nearly every night.  (And it doesn’t matter how long I sleep, as long as I dream.  12 hours with no dreams is worse than 6 hours with dreams.)  My dreams are exceptionally vivid, and about 3/4 of the time I remember the details.  (Mainly if I happen to wake up near the end of the dream and make a mental note of it.)  Otherwise, I do at least remember the fact that I had some kind of whacked out dream.

I’ll admit it – my subconscious mind is much smarter than my conscious mind.  I lost count of how many seriously screwed up help desk tickets I figured out because my subconscious mind took over and when I woke up, I had the answer.  Or, when my subconscious mind told me it was time to move on from a job that I kept hanging on to.

Such as the dream I had about physically putting out fires around the office in one job I had.  Mind you, I did have practical experience with it when my boss set his trash can on fire, but still – it was a sign that things simply were not right.

There was the dream about picking up a neighbor’s key after the electrician had come and calling said neighbor to let him know I had the key.  I actually had to call my neighbor the next day and ask if I’d called him in the middle of the night about the key.  (This is also compounded by the fact that I have had people call me in the middle of the night and I was in such a deep sleep that I didn’t remember the conversation.)  Like I said, exceptionally vivid dreams.

So dreams = good sleep.  Unless they’re nightmares of some sort.  And for the last 6 months or so, I’ve either not dreamed at all (which is bad) or had nightmares (not ‘getting shot and killed’ nightmares but just as disturbing in their own way and resulting in no real sleep.)  They have been one of two:  Either I can’t get the damn phone to stop ringing (my grandmother calling every freaking 5 minutes) or, my Mom, Dad, and/or my Grandfather showing up (all deceased) and getting into LARGE arguments about why they aren’t here to take my grandmother onto wherever ones goes when they shuffle off this mortal coil.  Neither one is conducive to a decent night’s sleep, whether it’s 3 hours or 12.  (I stopped asking my brother if I had ignored an early phone calls after a while – I realized he’d ask why I didn’t answer if she’d actually been calling – but that’s how stupidly real they were.)

After this last trip to Phoenix, I knew I’d be seriously wound up for a while (which I was) and adding Mother’s Day and then my parent’s birthdays into the mix (yes, same day, same year, and yes, May is slightly rough, why do you ask?) my poor little brain apparently couldn’t even begin to come up with some good action-adventure stories for me.  So I haven’t even been dreaming at all.  Which sucks.

It sucks on levels beyond just the fact that no dreams = crappy sleep.  When my mind is allowed to really wander, I have some seriously whacked out dreams.  Not scary, just off the wall and entertaining as hell.  Some folks do dinner and a movie – I do sleep and a movie.  I love my whacked out dreams – especially because I also tend to have lucid dreams, which makes it even more fun.  You *know* you’re dreaming, so you’re ten feet tall and bulletproof and can fly and breathe underwater and any number of cool-assed things can happen.

And as I said, it’s been a good 6 months plus since I had that kind of fun at night all by myself.  (And drinks/no drinks doesn’t matter.  I do know if I take anything stronger than Advil before bed to kill a sleep-preventing headache/backache/whatever, I will not dream.  So, I don’t self-medicate to sleep.  I will just stay awake until I think I can sleep.)

When I went to Phoenix, Sharyn* assured me many times over that things weren’t as bad as I thought (I only get the bitchy negative calls from my grandmother, so I know I don’t get the whole picture) and I did get to see how my grandmother instantaneously became calmer (and nicer!) when Sharyn was around.  It just didn’t really sink into the recesses of my mind until the past few days – and I *know* it has sunk in.  Not only am I dreaming again, they are the really fun, cool, whacked out dreams that have nothing to do with family.  (Unless someone randomly enters stage left for no reason – and if they get killed by a ninja, it’s their own damn fault for showing up.)

A quick sample from the past couple nights where it’s back to “sleep and a movie” rather than “sleep at your own risk”:

– I’m in Miami and protecting a 5 year old from a hail of gunfire and explosions.  Sounds like a nightmare, but no – I had kickass ninja skills and we both emerged unscathed.  (I probably should stop watching CSI: Miami, but hey, we escaped the bad guys!  That and a lot of my dreams key off what I’ve seen on TV.  3 seasons of The West Wing in 4 days – I had dreams about working in the White House for 3 weeks.)

– I’m working at my old help desk job and they are cutting people left and right.  Suddenly, Gabriel Byrne shows up as the employee advocate!  (Oh if we’d only had a union and him as our rep back when I actually did tha for a living.)  Telling management that if they force us to stay as pitifully understaffed as we were, we still needed more support and that we needed to have at LEAST one “wizard” on staff for us to all consult.  (Not like a Harry Potter wizard, more like Apple’s “geniuses” – I’m not *that* much of a geek.)  Of course, also a sad note on how my mind works, when I should have been seriously hitting on Mr. Byrne, I was back at the tech manager’s desk offering him a dollar for the soda machine in exchange for my being allowed to punch him.  (Which we actually did when I worked there.)  But, damn, GABRIEL BYRNE advocating for us help desk punks!!  If that’s not a dream, I’m not sure what is.

– I’m sitting in front of a stack of papers, not sure if it’s work or classwork, but get a call from someone I am quite interested in.
“Hey, would you like to do something tonight?”
*Looking at random papers in front of me*
“I’d love to, but I have all this work I need to take care of.”
“Oh, OK.”
Hang up the phone, pause a moment.  I DID NOT JUST DO THAT, DID I????  (I actually double checked my phone in the morning.  I have had phone conversations that I did not remember because they were in the middle of a deep sleep.  Apparently I did NOT turn anyone down by accident at 3AM.)

– I am the stunt double or some close extra for Emily Deschanel in Bones.  I spent the whole time running around shooting things with David Borneaz, and he wanted to go for drinks after the shoot.  Not so bad!  If I can figure out how to get a repeat on that one – I may never wake up again.

So, haven taken a few minutes to analyze my subconscious for the past couple days, I see why I’m far and away more relaxed and less strung out than I was even this time last week.

Let’s all go have some fun and whacked out dreams.

*The freaking angel sent from heaven or Minnesota who looks in on my grandmother every day and keeps her on an even keel.  Something I could never manage in my entire life.

It would seem that the Blair House is booked for the inauguration – except the Obamas aren’t on the reservation list.

Seriously??  How is there not a permanent hold on rooms for the President Elect and the entourage for every election year?  If it’s a year where the incumbent wins, release the rooms the day after the election.  Not that hard!

While the President Elect isn’t the most important person on the planet, for inauguration weekend I really can’t think of a more important guest at the Blair House.  Honestly, I can only think of one other person in the US that could trump the President Elect, and frankly, if that family is involved – it’s kind of a jerk move.

Or, WOW, what a screwup on the part of the Blair House.

Well, there’s always Craigslist for the incoming First Family.  I’d offer up our guest rooms, but the little one’s allergies wouldn’t go well with the Moxley dog.