CafeChatNoir

And I, I walked over to the, to the bench there, and there is, Group W’s where they put you if you may not be moral enough to join the army after committing your special crime, and there was all kinds of mean nasty ugly looking people on the bench there. Mother rapers. Father stabbers. Father rapers! Father rapers sitting right there on the bench next to me! And they was mean and nasty and ugly and horrible crime-type guys sitting on the bench next to me. And the meanest, ugliest, nastiest one, the meanest father raper of them all, was coming over to me and he was mean ‘n’ ugly ‘n’ nasty ‘n’ horrible and all kind of things and he sat down next to me and said, “Kid, whad’ya get?” I said, “I didn’t get nothing, I had to pay $50 and pick up the garbage.” He said, “What were you arrested for, kid?” And I said, “Littering.” And they all moved away from me on the bench there, and the hairy eyeball and all kinds of mean nasty things, till I said, “And creating a nuisance.” And they all came back, shook my hand, and we had a great time on the bench, talkin about crime, mother stabbing, father raping, all kinds of groovy things that we was talking about on the bench.

Happy Thanksgiving, all.

Deep Fryer Mishap Destroys Mobile Home

Went and got lunch today and came home and crashed out hard - totally snoozed through the afternoon ride I had planned and when I got up, the storms were heading through. At first, I just figured the run & heat had taken a decent chunk out of me, but then I realized the problem. The problem is - I am a dumbass. I took sunscreen with me today, and neglected to actually put any of it on and hence, got a bit of a sunburn. Not lobster red by any means, and no pain, but I can tell it’s there - and that is what makes me sleep like a complete rock within an hour or so of getting in the house.

Assuming I don’t fall asleep on the couch again, I’ll spend the evening reassuring the dog that I will NOT let the fireworks outside get him. I wish he wasn’t afraid of the noises, cause I do miss being able to set fireworks off in the backyard.

The run today was fun, if warm - 77 degrees at the start with 63% humidity. Which you just don’t think of as being hot, until you’re moving in it. Then it’s freaking hot. But there were lots of little kids running and they were so fun to cheer on at the end - they have that great “I’m being chased by a monster” form that is just so adorable. The last of the race was a downhill, and it was so cute to watch their eyes light up when I would tell them “It’s really downhill!! I just did it!” (Amazing how quickly they learned that the volunteers will tell them anything to keep them going, but a lady with a race number is going to tell them what’s really up ahead.) One thing that just bugged the crap out of me was passing a father & son where the father was giving the kid a ton of crap about his form. Not, “Hey, bud, if you keep doing that, you’ll get shin splits, so try this” but more of the “You’re going to be the cross country star I never was” attitude. And the advice he was giving was bad. While I did resist the urge to give the guy a flying tackle as I went by, I might have muttered something about his information being incorrect as I passed.

It did bring something that I’ve always known in the back of my head into sharp focus, though. 21 years ago I did my first 5K, and managed to swing age group hardware to boot. My folks were both there for the race, my Dad riding his bike on the side streets of the course and tossing me wet towels (it was hotter than hell) and my Mom at the finish with big thermos of lemon honey tea. (The fine art of jockstrapping goes back many years.) I knew so many parents whose reaction to the race would have been, “Well, we’re signing you up for track/cross country now!” since the results were fairly good. Fortunately, mine knew that I wanted to do this for fun, to see if I could do it, and I did and had a good time and that was that. They were always so good about letting me do my own thing when it came to sports and such. Pretty much the only thing was if I started a season, I needed to at least stick it out. If at the end of the season I didn’t want to do whatever it was anymore, no problem.

I sure hope if I ever have kids I always remember that.

Happy Easter! Since was out of town this weekend, there was no full contact easter egg hunt this year, but we will make up for it with brunch in Old Town next weekend after the race, so it’s all good.

My watch seems to have dried out to the point where it can be used again - , I’d still like to take your spare off you, as I would like a separate watch w/the lap memory for the pool - we’ll have to figure out a way to make the exchange.

I’m a firm believer in “learn something new every day” - today I learned I can change the tire on my Jeep with no assistance. (There were two offers, but I was already so far along it wasn’t necessary.) The hardest parts? Getting the stupid jack out of the “handy carrying case” it comes in, and remembering where I’d put the wheel lock key. (I knew it had not left the car, but I’d unfortunately moved it.) Given the height of the Jeep and the length of the tire iron, I was able to do the “stand on the tire iron and bounce” trick to get the lug nuts off. (It never worked with the Honda.) So, tomorrow morning it’s off to Merchants for a new tire - they’re normally open on Sundays, but of course, it’s Easter. Decided that 45 minutes of wrestling with the tires and all that would suffice for weight training today. So whee, it’s off to the shop first thing in the morning to get the tire swapped out.

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Consider yourself smooched.

This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Well, it used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to *eat* it. You’re hypocrites, all of you!

Happy Groundhog Day

Wasn’t necessarily the NYE I would have preferred, but not too bad - thank you for hanging with me…

Maybe next year…

I’ve got a two foot high stack of books at my feet, the perfect Caps ballcap, and a mimosa at my side. A successful Christmas indeed.

The presents are all wrapped and under the tree (well before midnight, no less - quite unusual for me), everyone is in bed and I’m spending a little quality time with a South Park Christmas marathon - absolutely hilarious. (So many reasons that I’m the head bartender on the bus to hell.)

Two weeks down, two weeks to go on the visit. While there have been some tense days, there have been no full on fights, which I’m grateful for, and frankly, exceptionally surprised. But between the moving, the holiday, the visit, and oh, that work thing, I’m physically and emotionally really, really tired. I’m not getting enough sleep and the sleep I’m getting ain’t exactly quality, but hey, I can catch up in January, right? All I really want for Christmas is enough patience to get through the rest of the visit with some level of grace & dignity.

Merry Christmas to all my buds out there - y’all have really come through for me in more ways than you can possibly imagine in the past year, and especially listening to my insane rants over the past two weeks. :)

I hope all your holidays are filled with love.

Peace out, kids.

As completely selfish as it sounds - when am I going to get the Christmas that *I* want? Christmas Eve on my own, Christmas Day with the people I love, screw the presents, forget the stress, just remember what it’s really all about. What is it going to take?

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/default.php

Last sighted in Moscow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Yes, I’m a dork.)

Let me give you a tip: Combining a major holiday, a full time job, a relative visiting for a month, and getting a property ready to rent is simply not a very good idea. Three of the four I could manage, but all four is starting to test me just a tiny, tiny bit. Yeah, I’m kinda whiny & ranty & list obsessed these days, but it gets it out of my system.

Back to the house in the morning to finish things off for the carpet folks, and load up the car with as many boxes as possible. Then the grocery store for baking & dinner supplies. Back here for decorating and baking and cooking. (I get the impression we were supposed to have the decorating done before Grandma arrived. Oops.) Need to look around the TH and see if by any chance my good cookie sheets are not packed yet. I know I already packed up my good glass loaf pans and put them in storage, completely forgetting I’d need them for breads. Sunday and Monday I need to do more moving - just getting boxes from point A to point B, but I’m concerned that this could become a point of contention. An additional twist to Monday is the cleaning service coming over - I should have canceled it for the month, but decided against it (idiot), and promised Grandma I’d be around when they showed up. (I had a very hard time convincing her that she doesn’t have to do a damn thing in preparation for them or while they are here.)

On 9 to 6 next week here at home - planning on shooting for a box run each morning and then one or two in the evenings after dinner. Where the hell I am going to stash these boxes once they are over here is absolutely beyond me. I am considering turning the living room into a temporary storage area.

I have 10 hours to finish getting things out of the way for the carpet install - completely doable - all I have to contend with is the master bedroom and then the basement.
5 days to get as much out of the townhouse as possible for the cleaning service to hit over there. (Unless they end up coming on the 27th, which would be divine.) 3 box runs a day should accomplish that.
8 days til Christmas - thank god 95% of the shopping is done. Stocking stuffers, one trip to the mall, and wrapping presents will likely end up being on Christmas Eve at 2 AM.
10 days to get everything out before my renter comes in - again, 3 box runs a day, plus weaseling whatever time I can to finish packing up closets and the utility room, it should be doable.

Yes, I do have a spreadsheet with all the deadlines I have over the next 3 weeks. :)

The 27th is the biggest hurdle. Once everything is cleared for the carpets, really all that is left is a) moving packed boxes and b) packing the closets, a few things left in the kitchen, and the utility room. Once I get past that, I should be able to relax - my renter is a wonderful gal who understands my current familial insanity at the moment and if I still have a few things over there to get out it’s not the end of the world as long as there aren’t so many boxes that you can’t get through the house, LOL. (Currently, you can’t access the upstairs bathroom for the boxes, nor can you get terribly far in the kitchen.) I did make a point of leaving the powder room clear so the carpet guys can actually use the bathroom while they’re there.

I do need to find one day to play electrician back at the house and replace the front light, the ceiling fan, and the entry hall light - not quite sure when I am going to squeeze that in, but I’ll find a way.

Combine all this with the fact that I will quite likely not be spending any quality time of any sort with anyone I’m not related to over the next 3 weeks, and I’m starting to get a little twitchy.

OK, off to bed to get a few hours of sleep - lets hope I wake up when I need to.

The hazard of get all the major Christmas shopping done in under 2 hours on the internet is that Discover Card freaks out and thinks someone has stolen your card….

Just got off the phone w/America West, all we have to do is go to the ticket counter to get a gate pass so we won’t lose my grandmother this year.

Slowly sliding into my Zen spot for the holidays, which is good because I’ll be able to enjoy it a tad more, and unusual because I am usually don’t hit it until around the 20th at the earliest… Everything is coming together.

Major Christmas shopping is done - God bless the internet - just some fill-in items to take care of in the next two weeks.

Should be able to finish getting the house whipped into shape in the next two days, easy. Kick out some tomorrow morning and just blitz the rest Saturday morning. (What can I say, I work best under a deadline. Note to self: Make sure any & all prospective SO’s get this and can deal with it.) Hockey & Guinness tomorrow night just for some last minute chill time before Grandma gets here.

Pickup Grandma Saturday afternoon. Need to remember to call the airline tomorrow to see about getting a security pass to the gate, or a dedicated employee with a cell phone picking her up so we don’t lose her again this year. (We’ve had issues with overzealous skycaps whisking her off through backdoors and she doesn’t come out with the rest of the passengers…) Only small glitch in getting things ready is that the comforter on her bed has to go to the dry cleaner, *and* has a hole in it where I ripped it by accident trying to get the damn cover off today - found that last safety pin!! So, I’ve got to patch that corner up and get it to the cleaners and throw a couple extra blankets on the bed as a substitute…

Sunday getting a few things done at the townhouse and sneaking in a trip to the gym - need to get a distance run in… Cherry Blossom 10 Miler registration opens 12/12 at 10 AM, and they want a seeding time from either a 10K or higher, which of course, I won’t have by next Monday (two 10K’s and a half mary by race day, but…) so it’s either run 10K this weekend for a time, default into the slow group or fake a seed time based on what I’ve done so far in training, which would be a 12 minute mile. (Average of all my runs.) The limit for the run is 14 minute miles, which I know I’ll be able to churn out by 4/2. Frankly, I don’t even have a problem getting lumped in the slow group, it’s not like I’m required to stick with the pace group I start with. So, it’s either do the planned 4 miles this weekend, or try and kick out 6.2 miles and see what I get. I may just see how I’m feeling when I hit 4 and decide whether or not to keep going. Gotta say, I do love the treadmill when I am in control of it - something nice about running in shorts when it’s 20 degrees outside. Weird (but kinda good) thing - it feels positively bizarre to run on a 0 grade. I’ve gotten so used to the hills around here, I have to put the incline on to feel “normal”…

Have ordered a Heart Rate Monitor (HRM) for training, found one I liked today, and then got an email from active.com (they do registrations for a good 90% of the races I do) w/20% off Timex items - and my HRM was one of them! I’ve been doing RPE training (Rate of Perceived Exertion, ie, listen to your body), but the HRM’s that are integrated into the treadmills are kinda flipping me out - I don’t know how accurate they really are, but they swing between “you have no HR and are technically dead” and “you’re going to stroke out”, and I feel fine either way, (I’m not dead yet!) but it’s screwing with my pace big time, cause when my HR gets up there, I slow down to bring it back down. I can Zen down my HR on the bike with breathing (but again, don’t know how accurate those suckers are), not quite as good at it w/running yet. So, might as well get a decent one and do actual HRM training so I don’t inadvertently kill myself with overconfidence in my cardiovascular system.

Next week, short work week, need to harass the ACC about fence approval, finish getting as much out of the way as possible for the carpet install on Saturday. Long weekend of baking, finishing shopping, and decorating.

Then it’s finish off the townhouse, Christmas, New Year’s and 10K on New Year’s Day and into busy season we go at work. Then Grandma heads home, and it’s work and training and hockey and wishing I could have hockey AND warm weather… Race season starts in earnest on 3/12 with the St. Pats Day 10K in DC, and I’m looking at 14 races (4 tris, 10 runs) in 2006, and maybe 1 more. Yeah, it sounds excessive, but most of them fit right in with training for other things, it’s more fun to go out and compete with a whole slew of other people, most of the races benefit various charities, and I wouldn’t get off my ass and workout without them, so it’s all good. I’m gonna have a killer t-shirt collection by the end of the year. :-D

Oh, and as to why it is so important to watch A Charlie Brown Christmas: It’s pure good and will erase all your sins for the year. :) Some of us need all the help we can get.

Santa Claus just came through the neighborhood on the fire truck. :-D

8 PM, tonight, ABC - A Charlie Brown Christmas.

I am 10 feet tall & bulletproof…I am 10 feet tall & bulletproof…I am 10 feet tall & bulletproof…I am 10 feet tall & bulletproof…

Just need to keep telling myself that. OK, so grandma is arriving a day earlier than I’d been planning on, and I’m losing a weekend day for it. We’ll get around it. So what if I have no clue what time the damn storage box is supposed to arrive tomorrow? Gives me time to continue putting crap in boxes, right? And continue to come back over here so I can check my work email every few hours and try to keep the fires to a minimum there. (Yeah, quite the “day off”, isn’t it? Actually, I’ll take my laptop with me, maybe I can find an unsecured hotspot in the neighborhood so I can check from there.)

Then two days I can continue to chuck crap into the storage box in the mornings before heading off to work. Need to find allen wrenches to disassemble some of the dressers to get them downstairs. (They were assembled *in* the bedroom. Ever build a boat in the basement?) Gotta craigslist the dining room table and the coffee & end tables. They’re too nice to chuck and it would be so much better if someone could take them off my hands instead of having to drag them out to goodwill.

Thursday morning is all about me, dammit, going in to get my haircut before work - only about 4 months overdue for that. Training looks to get mashed in after work or exceptionally early in the morning this week somehow… Monday off, timed run Tuesday, XT Wednesday, timed run Thursday, weight training Friday, swapping out the distance run from Saturday to Sunday afternoon, since I am getting the hell out of dodge for a while.

Also need to make sure I keep stuff I actually *need* out of storage. Like winter clothing & my books… Hoping to have it all loaded up by the end of the week so that the storage people can come and take it away…I really should be able to accomplish a lot tomorrow, so I truly believe that is reasonable. Not even going to contemplate bringing it over here until after 1/7 - I can live without bedroom furniture for a month. (The old bedroom furniture gets hauled off on the 10th.)

Then a week of attempting to get this place ready for Grandma…reserving Friday the 9th for hockey and beer. Lots of beer. The Caps had damn well put out one hell of a game, or at least provide me with some spectacular fights.

Two weeks to be ready for Christmas once she gets here. And find a couple days to play electrician back at my place and replace a ceiling fan and some light fixtures… , interested? (If nothing else, I need someone to hold the ladder.) And trying to come up with 4 weeks worth of conversations I can have with her - not easy given that there is more I can’t talk about than there is I can talk about. I love her, but there is so much that has just become completely off limits over the years…

28 days until my renter moves in. (The carpets will be done on the 17th, the fence - probably not in time. Have estimate, do not have ACC approval yet.) I have to have everything out before the carpets go in.

I can do this. It WILL all come together. Come hell or high water, it WILL all get done.

Off to the gym to lift weights and swim. Please god, bring on the endorphins, I need them.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for I am the biggest, baddest motherfucker in the valley…

Apparently my grandmother is arriving on the 10th and not the 11th as she had originally told me.

This was also the same day of my 5K that was cancelled, which suddenly is turning out to be a good thing, since the Caps are playing the night before and I am going to have to go out and drink heavily I think.

Yes, it’s just one days difference, but it’s a weekend day and we kinda needed that.

*twitch*

Dinner was fantastic, frankly, the turkey was even better than Mom’s. Had all our favorites, and skipped the veggies, unless you count pickles.

pointed out that we can add a #12 to the “signs you’re having Thanksgiving Dinner w/ a geek” - The diner to laptop ratio is 1 to 1. Yes, we sat around the living room after dinner with our laptops surfing the web and playing games and watching football, and I got my training plan for the March race put together.

All in all, a good day.

Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!!

The obligatory last minute run to the market has been done, the turkey is brining, and actually, there isn’t a whole lot else to do until gets here anyway, so I’ll be spending the next couple hours goofing off.

And I went up there, I said, “Shrink, I want to kill. I mean, I wanna, I wanna kill. Kill. I wanna, I wanna see, I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth. Eat dead burnt bodies. I mean kill, Kill, KILL, KILL.” And I started jumpin up and down yelling, “KILL, KILL,” and he started jumpin up and down with me and we was both jumping up and down yelling, “KILL, KILL.” And the sargent came over, pinned a medal on me, sent me down the hall, said, “You’re our boy.”

Yeah, it’s been that kind of a week… Still feeling a bit like death, heading to the gym straightaway after work, maybe I can sweat this crap out of my system. If nothing else, I need to go burn off work. It’s making me positively insane right now, and I am going to be working at least part of my “day off” on Monday cause there is just so much going on.

Tomorrow, drinking and cooking. The fire extinguisher will be at the ready.

From BBSpot, via fark.com

11. Dark meat is separated from white meat using a light probe.
10. Everyone mentions broadband, Linux or dual-core processors in their “I am thankful for…” speech.
9. A round of Counter-Strike: Source determines who gets to carve the turkey.
8. House decorated with plush microbes to celebrate the pilgrims bringing diseases to the new world.
7. Someone constantly keeps saying “The pilgrims had coffee, didn’t they?”
6. Plates have a heatsink attached to them so you don’t burn your mouth.
5. The cranberries are caffeinated.
4. Whipped cream for the pumpkin pie made with Dremel.
3. Three words: Lego gravy boat.
2. Pilgrim decorations have red hats instead of black ones.
1. The turkey is given the opportunity for a saving throw before being butchered.

He looks a little goofier than normal cause I’d wet his head down…

Sometimes I think Fairfax County picked this paint design soley for parade purposes. :)

There is talk of school boundary changes in the area, and folks are NOT happy about it - many buy here specifically for the high school.

This guy REALLY wanted to come over and see Mox. Mox was SO good and didn’t even bark.

About 30 feet up the route, this one hit a shady spot and just decided to lay down and watch the rest of the parade rather than participate. It took a bit of coaxing but his owners got him going again. I tried to get pics of it cause it was very cute, but they didn’t come out. (He wasn’t hurt or anything, just wanted to be a spectator)

A tiny little parade, but fun nonetheless - but dammit, you need to have baton twirlers to have a proper parade. Not sure if any of the pics came out, as I was trying to take them and hang on to a dog at the same time.

So, we walked up there, with all our supplies, found a shady spot and parked ourselves. The parade was about 30 minutes late in starting, so we just enjoyed the weather and people watching. He was SOOO good with all the other dogs that were walking by - not a peep out of him. Even drank some of his water that I brought for him.

Scoring a few major dumbass points, I totally did not take into consideration that the dog isn’t thrilled with loud/weird noises. Let’s just say he didn’t think the firetruck was cool. (Police car didn’t phase him - go figure.) But, to his credit he did NOT a) freak out, b) try to bolt or c) lose control of any bodily functions. I just hauled him up in my lap and he just stayed right there - I also made a point of covering his ears w/the firetrucks - figured it couldn’t *hurt* to help muffle the noise. (Seriously, I kept thinking “a walk and kids - he’ll love it!” Oops.)

I don’t think he was permanently traumatized, cause on the walk back, he was standing tall, head up, ears up and that good stuff. You bet there was a TON of praising the VERY BRAVE doggie!!!!! He’s just hanging out at my feet right now - if he was still upset, he’d either be under the bed or in his crate. Who knows, maybe we got past a fear today.

So, I think I’ll not bring him along next year, but at least he doesn’t seem to be any worse for the experience. :)