CafeChatNoir

We’re staying put for Christmas.

I’ll go out there for a couple days afterwards.  I can do Christmas or her birthday, but not both anymore.  (Lord knows I didn’t manage it with any grace or dignity up until now anyway.)  The stress isn’t even remotely worth it, and she’s to a point where she doesn’t know if we’re there, and on the off chance that she does, she has no idea how long we’ve been there, and certainly doesn’t know what day it is and whether or not we’re there on Christmas or if I’m just there myself a couple days later.  (Nevermind the fact that it costs near 3x as much for both of us to go out there for 8 days vs me there by myself for 4 days.)

I have to say, my attitude towards the holidays has improved immensely since making the decision.

Because what else do you do on America’s birthday but go run a 5k?  Hauled myself out of bed this morning and headed up to Potomac for what has become my favorite July 4th activity.  Below are all the gory details, pulled straight from my race report over at BT.  Hope you get a laugh out of it.

Total Time = 40m 38s
Overall Rank = 1081/1247
Age Group = F 35-39
Age Group Rank = 61/72
Lap Paces:
1 – 12:26
2 – 12:25
3 – 14:27
.1- 10:49

Pre-race routine:

Got up, got dressed, drove there. Stopped for a latte. :) Coming off bashed foot and weekend plague, happy to be conscious.

Event warmup:

Just under 2 weeks ago, bashed the daylights out of my left foot. Much to my delight, the pain disappeared on Thursday. Just in time for me to be sick for the rest of the weekend.

Got my number, went back to the car to change into my running shoes, put on left shoe and….Owww. Why does that hurt? It shouldn’t hurt. IT WAS FINE THIS MORNING. Gingerly walked over to the warmup area and did a couple test jogs – apparently when I run I don’t push off with my two outer left toes, so all was well. Or I was favoring it and would end up with a twisted knee and a torqued hip, but whatever.

Passed on the group warmup being lead by a very enthusiastic gentleman and couldn’t help but look around and think, “You know, a bloody mary bar would be a perfect addition to this race…”

Had a bit of a sinking feeling at the race start as it was so humid that I was sweating even though we weren’t even moving yet.

Run Comments:

Given the circumstances, I had set my run/walk intervals at 1:30/2:30. Enough walking to deal with the fact that I’ve been out of the saddle for a while and enough running to keep me from being my usual idiot self and pushing too hard and blowing up. Plan your race, race your plan.

1st mile went very well. Stuck to the intervals with no problems, felt great when we hit the mile marker and listened to the voice in my head screaming “RACE YOUR PLAN!” as I went into mile 2.

Mile 2 went just as well, but I could feel myself getting heated up. The temps were coming up, the humidity didn’t seem to be going down and there was no breeze. The water station isn’t until just before the end of the second mile – a little too late for me. Not because I was thirsty – but because I was just too hot. Two cups, two sips and the rest went over my head and down my shirt. Un-sexiest wet t-shirt contest ever. Between this and the snot rockets, if there isn’t a rash of Missed Connections for #483, I am giving up on men in this town once and for all.

3rd mile was where the wheels came off. Overheated AND the sun came out! When the run intervals came around, just concentrated on short strides and quick turnover and thanked the heavens for the walk intervals. Really wished more people had put out sprinklers. Took my time going through the two that were on in that last mile.

Finally hit the turn to go to the finish. Love that turn. Nice and flat and then downhill. Somehow managed to pick up the pace in the last run interval – I think it’s easier when you know you can just fall over at the end.

What would you do differently?:

Not bashed my foot or been sick so I could have gotten some training in over the past 2 weeks. If I could have made the humidity lower, I would have done that, too.

Warm down:

My usual at this race – get bottle of water and dump ice down my shirt.

What limited your ability to perform faster:

Coming off being sick, the humidity, and oh, yes, the fact that I am utterly out of shape.

For those looking at your calendars, let me just reiterate what my mother used to say: “We don’t march to a different drummer, we have our our own whole brass band.”

The first year we went to PHX for Christmas was 2007, and we didn’t really make any other holiday plans – BAD idea, but we had no idea WTF we were doing, either.  After that, I decided the house would get decorated to some extent, and we would have our own little Christmas with brunch and presents and mimosas – because Christmas in PHX tends to just be another day in the desert.

So, we picked a day to be Christmas upon our return, and it is TOMORROW!!!  There are presents under the tree.  I am still extorting good behaviour out of the pets with the phrase, “Santa Claus is watching!!”  And I cannot wait to see how my little brother likes what Santa brought him.  (As well as the gifts  procured by the pets.  I have no idea how they got hold of my credit card and Amazon.com password.)

But at the moment, I am looking over at the Christmas tree and it would certainly seem that Santa has had a small sleigh accident here. :-D

TOMORROW IS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!

Christmas out here is weird enough as it is. Christmas always seems to be something happening back on the East coast while we’re here trying to find somewhere to eat dinner. This year has been one for the books.

First, it’s 70 degrees. Don’t get me wrong – it’s GREAT. But we haven’t had weather this nice any other year we’ve been here, so it’s odd. (This is year 4 out here for the holidays…)

Got to the care center today and grandma was in a lovely mood, up and ready for lunch and absolutely zero recognition of who we were. (And it didn’t seem to bother her one bit, and we weren’t going to cause problems.) But, we had a nice lunch and she liked her presents, so it’s all good. Classic moment: After lunch, we’re sitting in her room chatting, and she rolls herself out the door and says, “OK, well, turn the lights off when you leave!” We took that as our cue that she was done with visitors for the day. :)

There is a football game starting in about an hour and a half right next door. This is great because all the restaurants at Westgate are open this evening. If you lived in the area, I can see how a Christmas evening football game could be fun – and others must agree since the parking lots are filled with tailgaters. However, the hotel is also filled with football fans and I can’t say I can really wrap my head around traveling at Christmas for a sporting event. Hell, I’m not even thrilled with traveling at Christmas for Christmas itself, so this is really lost on me.

It’s just been a really, really odd day.

If this weather holds, this will be the nicest weather we’ve had out here at Christmas in 4 years. It’s in the 60s and sunny and a far cry from the 30 degrees with 40 mile an hour winds that we left in DC yesterday. Flight was fine, but for a 5 hour flight it felt like it was about 12 hours. Hotel is great, and breakfast this morning hit the spot.

Popped over to the care center today to see Grandma – caught her after lunch and just before her afternoon snooze so we sat and chatted and watched some TV. Her room setup is perfect. The bed is on the one side, and then she’s got her two chairs and end table on one side, some of her pictures from home and such – it’s not “home” but it’s very cozy and nice and doesn’t feel like an institution. She’s kind of out in left field, and there is some occasional aphasia when she’s talking, but she sure as hell knew Donald was there when he said hello.

Overall she’s in good spirits, and frankly, the meds they’ve given her to keep her from being all wound up are working very well – she was in a perfectly pleasant mood. However, she did ask Donald, “I know I really shouldn’t be worrying about these things, but am I going to die here?” (I was out of the room and missed this gem.) Apparently it was said with about the level of curiosity and concern as if she’d asked, “Are we having pizza tonight?” Donald fielded it with something along the lines of “Since you don’t know when you’ll die, there’s no real way to know *where* you’ll die.” and she found that perfectly acceptable.

Went and got her Christmas goodies. (Yay for her finally just saying, “Oh, candy would be wonderful for Christmas!” and having people around who can read the labels and help her open them!) Hit the Dollar Tree for a gift bag and tissue paper – SO much better than the dollar stores back east. They have actual brand name items, rather than anti-freeze laden toothpaste called “Coldgate”. And a whole damn aisle of Willy Wonka candy. My brother & I may have gotten ourselves a few goodies. (As Donald said, “We’ll be lucky if we don’t end up in a diabetic coma before the week is up.”)

Thanks to the Arizona/Dallas game, the hotel restaurant will be open from 6AM to 10PM tomorrow – very nice considering that a) little if anything else will be open tomorrow, and Christmas Dinner at the care center is actually Christmas Lunch, and though I am sure it will be very good, I think we’ll probably be a touch hungry once the evening rolls around.

So, we’re off to a good start I think.

And the next person I hear bemoaning it being “Singles Awareness Day” is gonna get slapped.  Wallowing in self pity over being single is Not Attractive.

Trust me, there are much worse things than being single on Valentine’s Day.  Being with someone who spends the entire day complaining that society forced them to buy you flowers ain’t that great.

If you’ve got someone, have a great day doing sweet things for them.  If you’re on your own, go do some sweet things for yourself and enjoy the day anyway.  Sit yourself down and watch some Olympic biathlon – cause nothing says love and romance and happy days like skis, guns and a sport that started a World War.

And consider yourself smooched.

Though there has been a bit of Festivus action today, on the whole it’s gone better than I thought it would.  We did accidentally wake her up from a nap, which had her in a bit of a mood for the first half of the afternoon.  (She doesn’t nap on any kind of consistent schedule, so the only way we could guarantee not waking her would be to not show up at all.)

She actually decided that eating in was preferable to standing in line for over an hour for the exact same food.  However, we did near come to blows over the microwave…  She doesn’t use it, and has decided it is broken, which must be why she doesn’t use it.  No, she doesn’t use it because she can’t even begin to read any of the buttons and can’t remember what order to hit them in.*  Then even if it did work, she was sure I wouldn’t know how to use it, because it’s not the same model as mine.

But, we finally got past all that and had a relatively pleasant dinner.

The Snuggie seemed to be a hit, (yes, we got her a Snuggie, no I am not proud of it) though I wish I had remembered how damn big those things are (it’s pretty obvious from the ads that they’re huge) and had I been smart I would have opened it up before we left and hemmed it up, but hindsight is always 20/20, isn’t it?

Despite feeling like death, and it greatly affecting my mood to the negative side, I am happy to say there have been no knock down-drag out fights yet, and even today when she was getting a touch on the bitchy side, I did not take the bait.

*Thankfully others bring her home cooked stuff so it’s not like she lives 100% on cold food.  But would certainly do so if left to her own devices.

Either my grandmother will recognize I took some initiative to make Christmas dinner just as tradtional but 100x easier, or I have ruined Christmas.

I made an executive decision this year, and it was that we would NOT be going to JB’s for Christmas dinner.  It is a perfectly fine place, but it is the only place that is open on Christmas day in Sun City, and as such, it is a madhouse.  Unless you get there the minute they open for the morning brunch, you can count on a minimum of a 1 hour wait.  There are not enough places to sit when waiting, and given that it is Sun City, about 2/3 of the guests NEED to sit while waiting.  Finally, it is a buffet, which is near impossible for my grandmother to navigate with the cane & balance issues.

Yet, she has made noises about doing it again this year.  (I suspect she has forgotten the buffet/insane asylum aspect of it.)  Rather than even argue it, we are just going to surprise her.

With the help of Safeway’s deli & prepared foods department, we’re heading over with turkey, stuffing, mashed potatoes, gravy, pasta salad and rolls.  Everything we could get at JB’s without the wait or standing in line to get it, and without the noise and insanity of being stuffed in a small restaurant with 120 other people.  (I also fully admit this may be nothing more subconscious revenge for the year she arrived and simply announced we would be having ham for Christmas dinner and that was that.  I beleive that was also the year I banned her from my kitchen.)

This one really could go either way.

I brought the laptop to the condo so we could avoid going to the bank.  I think we almost have my grandmother convinced that her checkbook is in fact up to date and perfect and matches the bank records and we don’t need to run that little hellish errand.  (She has quite the reputation at the bank, and it’s not a good one.  I am still surprised that no one there has called Social Services on her.)

Of course, now I am just using the laptop because my god, no offense to my grandmother, it is so incredibly boring here, cause we don’t talk about anything besides her checkbook, taxes, or death.  And I can certainly talk about her checkbook and surf the internet all at the same time – I am quite the multitasker.  I also need to keep track of where Santa is, dammit.  I think keeping my sanity intact is very important, lest I start saying what I’m thinking out loud.

Today’s conversations have been split between the checkbook and the fact that our presence has thrown her day into disarray.  Her nose is also out of joint because Sharyn isn’t coming over today.  Sharyn isn’t coming over because a) we are here and can help out and b) Sharyn’s grandchildren are here and she wants to spend time with them.  Though given that Sharyn is the only thing keeping her out of a nursing home, it’s a good thing she likes her.

And yet, my head cold rages on.

We made it.  Grandma is still grandma, if flakier and more frail.  Nothing unexpected – she’ll be 87 in a week and has never had a healthy habit in her life.  The fact that she is still alive is amazing, though I would have to say that one good fall with a broken bone, and she’d be toast.  In talking w/Sharyn it’s agreed all around that the “caregiving crew that can’t be called caregivers” needs to be expanded and we’ll be working on that.  The biggest problem is when she is alone, no one gets any peace.  Whenever something pops into her head, she goes to the phone – it’s a pure reflex at this point for her, not a conscious decision, which results in her making everyone else crazy.

This is probably also the last Christmas she’ll have any clue who we are.  Kinda sad, but again, hardly unexpected.  I’d say it could be her last Christmas here on earth, but we’ve been saying that for the last 10 years.

The calendar says it’s Christmas Eve, but you couldn’t prove it by me – the biggest downer of being here at Christmas is that it has never, ever felt anything like Christmas.  Everything that makes Christmas what it is to me is back home, not here.  So, that part fairly well sucks, but it is what it is.  (And though I have fears to the contrary, my grandmother will not live forever and I’ll have many years of finally doing Christmas my way.  Just not this year.)

On the upside, we have made a few brilliant decisions this trip.  The first being the hotel.  (Mad props to my brother for coming up with this idea in the first place.)  We’re at the Renaissance Grand over in Glendale, and it’s really nice.  It’s right next to the town center which has a bucketload of restaurants, the hockey arena and a movie theater – and people under the age of 60.  And given that it doesn’t seem that Phoenix is a big Christmas destination, we got a really good deal on the room to boot.

The second brilliant decision was in making the travel days separate from any interaction with my grandmother.  (This comes from my last trip out here.)  It may sound harsh, but I can deal with US Airways, or my grandmother, but not both in the same day.  Just isn’t going to work.

Last but not least – deciding to fly out of Dulles instead of National.  Amazing how when you decide you will take flights that are convienent for YOU and not anyone else, things are a lot easier.  I hadn’t flown out of Dulles in 10 years and I was blown away at how much better it is than National.  Between having many hours in the morning to get the pets to the kennel (*sob*) and not having to take a death cab to the metro and fight with that ridiculousness (and I’m not even sure our metro station was open) and deal with the service impaired folks at National – it was actually a stress free travel day.

I’m still kicking myself a bit for the length of this trip – we could probably leave day after tomorrow and it wouldn’t make a difference at all in my grandmother’s mind.  But her shrieks of “you won’t be here long enough to get everything done!” from years past kept ringing in my ears as I made the reservations…  Ah well, lessons learned.  (I think I’ll have it all figured out about a week after she dies.  If she ever dies.)

Thanksgiving is just around the corner!!!

I think it’s pretty much my favorite holiday, and I’ll admit, I like it a lot better when I’m single.  No travel, no pretending to like green bean casserole or that sweet potatoes with melted marshmallows on top are not an affront to nature.  No getting sucked into someone else’s family dramas.  Did I mention NO TRAVEL?

I get to make up a whole mess of food, eat way more in one day than any healthy person should, and watch a bunch of football.  It’s the ultimate selfish I-get-to-do-it-MY-WAY holiday. :)

And I’m thankful that I’m smart enough to appreciate it.

And now I have to go find a turkey.

So, about mid-way through last year’s Christmas visit to PHX, it was decided that we would stay in a hotel this year.  The condo is just too small, the sleep deprivation is too much for me, and neither one of us can maintain any measure of grace or dignity in dealing with my grandmother if we can’t get out of there for at least a little bit each day.

Now, given how my grandmother is, I told Donald that HE had to tell her that we’d be in a hotel.  I’m just really, really tired of being the bad guy.  Well, she was quite happy to hear we would be in a hotel.  Yup, shocked the hell out of me, since in the past she’d been all about us staying with her.

To be honest, I’m not really sure she’s super keen on us visiting in the first place.  But honestly, I don’t know what the protocol is on that, and I suspect that despite the fact I’d much rather have Christmas here at home, there is some rule that, “You go visit because it’s family regardless of whether or not anyone actually wants it.”  (Stupid rule if you ask me.)

Now, karma is a bitch and my brother & I doing the happy hotel dance in the middle of the living room was countered by a flurry of calls between 2:30 and 3:00 am…  At least she was chipper, and did acknowledge it was a bit late to be calling.  (She has long since ceased even trying to remember what time it is here and admits as much, but this was a record.)

But then again, “Sorry the world is so fucked up that we have to have Veterans” day is a bit of a mouthful.

Thank you for all you do.

And sorry about the mattress sales.  So damn undignified.

I just saw a piece on the news about mothers that feel guilty for being “bad” (ie, not perfect) Moms.

My Mom wasn’t perfect and had no hang ups about not being perfect.  If she did, I’m quite certain we’d all have been miserable.

I cannot tell you how many time she told us “go play in the traffic”…  And some days I am sure she wasn’t kidding.

With my Dad in the Navy, she got to do a lot of parenting on her own, and did it spectacularly well – I feel like the answers to most any problem can be solved by asking, “OK, how would Mom would have handled this?”

You can’t ask for more than that from a Mom.

And to all my friends with kids who are fretting over getting it all right – it’s OK to tell them to go play in the traffic.  Or say, “I don’t want to hear the word ‘MOOOOOOOOOOOOOM’ unless someone is bleeding.”  Or just deciding that Kraft Mac & Cheese with hot dogs is going to be dinner because everyone likes it and sometimes it’s just easier to make something everyone likes that to try to be culinarily adventurous with toddlers.  They’ll be fine.

Yes, it’s another great American drinking holiday – Cinco de Mayo, where we co-opt a historical day from another country so we can buy Coronas by the bucket.  God Bless America.

Just a tip – if you do not normally drink for 6-12 hours straight on a regular basis, the fact that today is Cinco de Mayo is not going to suddenly enable you to accomplish said feat.  Trust me, it will not end well, and the odds are good that you will wake up with a 3 day hangover on a stranger’s couch, missing a shoe and wondering when and why you thought it was a good idea to dye your hair purple.

¡Buena suerte!

For all the wrong reasons.  (The faithful might want to keep their distance from me today to avoid lightning strikes.)

I’ve been to maybe 3 Easter services in my life, at least 1 when I was dating a Catholic.  Nice service, but I expected it to be in Latin and was somewhat disappointed.  (Much to the amusement of my ex, as he couldn’t fathom why I would care either way.)  Not real big on organized religion and my faith in general is somewhat shaky these days, so short of founding my own religion (there will be keggers as fundraisers,) it might be a while before I find myself in a church on Easter.

Over the years, it’s just become a nice family holiday food-fest, made nicer as it’s just immediate family, no weird cousins or in-laws or any other relatives to deal with.  Just OUR traditions that we’ve developed over the years and no one to look at us like we’ve lost our mind.  Mimosas!!  (It’s one of 3 days where I break my “don’t drink during daylight” rule – the others being Christmas Day and the Kentucky Derby.)  Hashbrown casserole (cheese & potatoes), egg casserole (cheese, egg & bacon), bacon, ham & swiss puffs (new this year, and yes, I do like cheese, why do you ask?) and of course, chocolate.  (I hid an Easter basket for my brother.  Yes, I need children or nieces/nephews, I know.)  A nice, relaxed afternoon of kicking back and eating our favorite bad-for-us foods and watching NHL hockey.  (The hockey part is relatively new, thanks NBC for the Sunday broadcast, even if your commentators kind of suck.)

For those that might raise an eyebrow at the culinary carb-fest on what is a pretty holy day focusing a fair amount on Jesus taking the big hit for the team – here’s how I look at it:  If you’ve been dead for three days and come wandering out, a mimosa and noshes might very well be just what the doctor ordered.  Perhaps a bit like leaving a glass of wine for Elijah – we have an extra plate of brunch casseroles available.  (I warned the faithful – the lightning may strike any moment.)  So, if Jesus happens to show up on my doorstep, he will be well fed.  (Though if he’s actually Jewish, we’re a little screwed, as none of what I have is kosher.  Though I wouldn’t tell anyone if he decided to make an exception based on being dead for 3 days.  But I can whip up a nice cheese omelet on no notice.  Eggs & dairy are kosher, right?)

In short, I love family holidays where it’s not about appeasing anyone, just being family – and this is right up at the top with Thanksgiving for me.  Yes, I have a micro-family, but it’s still MY family and it’s a great day.

Happy Easter and Passover, all.  Here’s to spending it the way you want to.

Or Fat Tuesday. Or Skinny Tuesday. Or, “What the hell is your problem??” Tuesday. Or “Thank the gods it’s not Monday anymore!” Tuesday.

I’m not Catholic, nor have I ever lived in New Orleans, nor have I been in any Catholic-centric countries during Mardi Gras/Carnival, so the day doesn’t have a lot of deep-seated meaning for me. However, that does not stop me from engaging in alcohol-centric traditions that go with any good ol’ USA drinking holidays. (Despite the fact that Mexican Independence Day is September 16th, I am certainly not slowed down for Cinco de Mayo celebrations – I simply enjoy my 99 cent Coronas and try to educate my fellow drinkers.)

That all being said and the fact it’s quite well established that I am going to hell anyway, I went out and had a lovely Fat Tuesday. AND, I decided to go for a Lenten sacrifice (despite the fact that it apparently is not so much about the sacrifice as it is about the doing otherwise ignored good deeds, oh, and I’m not Catholic) and decided that I will give up visits to the after hours pool hall time for Lent.

I’d love to say it was all driven by some awesome moral thing…but really, I need to drop 5 pounds over the next 2 1/2 months and cutting out the pool hall time is really the path of least resistance, HOWEVER…

For those days when I have ZERO willpower, $25 goes to DonorsChoose.org. If by some miracle I don’t hit the pool hall from now til Easter…they get $200 anyway. They shouldn’t suffer should I suddenly find willpower. ;)

Happy sacrifice and/or do good stuff season!! :)

While 2008 certainly wasn’t the worst year I’ve ever had, I’d say it makes the top 5.  I will be waving goodbye quite gleefully at midnight.

Not that 2009 isn’t going to present a slew of challenges, but hopefully it will be better than 2008.

I’ve never been much for resolutions, as I never keep them, but there are some things I hope to be able to say I’ve accomplished by this time next year.

Get grandma to sign a POA sooner rather than later so we have it when we need it.  (Otherwise down the road it’s obtain 2 physician affidavits of incapacitation to become successor trustees, which I forsee as a ridiculous hassle.)  Wrestle 3 of the 4 checkbooks away from her, as they are causing her, and as a result – me – way more grief than they’re worth.  (That may be a cage match to the death.)  Be able to say “her helper is working out!” and that I’ve not gone bankrupt in getting the care.

Get back in the gym on a very regular basis to combat the very negative mental impact of grandma’s issues.  Maybe get a HIM under my belt – an Oly tri at the least.

Draw and paint more.

Find as much to laugh about as possible.

Play with my dog more.

Here’s to all of us having a 2009 that is vastly improved over 2008.

On that note, I am now going to go have a glass of champagne and watch people freeze their asses off in Times Square.

Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about.

Lights, please.

“And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, ‘Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.’ And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.’”

That’s what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown.

Up at the crack of dawn for 8 days of sleep deprivation, malnutrition and emotional waterboarding. Also knows as Christmas in Phoenix with my grandmother.

Oh the joy of travel.

I was convinced that we wouldn’t even survive the cab ride to the airport. Despite SatNav, our driver couldn’t find his way out of the neighborhood to get to the metro. Once we got him on the right route, he developed a lead food and penchant for random lane changing. If that didn’t kill us, I was quite certain we’d die of asphyxiation via cologne.

By some miracle we made ti the airport intact. Got checked in and nicked for $30 to check bags. Got frisked by security for not wearing a skin-tight shirt and then yelled at for attempting to fetch my carry on from the wrong side of the conveyor belt.

On to the gate we were are greeted with the announcement that the flight is oversold. Wonderful job of counting, US Airways!! They needed 4 people to volunteer for another flight. Oh how I wanted to jump up and scream, “Me! Me!!! OH PICK ME!!!!” However, knowing this would not go over well with my grandmother, I stayed silent.

Got on the plane with one infant, two crying toddlers and a barking dog.  (The infant, toddlers & dog are not mine.)  I comment to my seatmate that perhaps this is karma for not volunteering to take another flight.  We take off 30 minutes late because we are a “weight restricted” flight and they had to double check the weight of the plane.  Not even sure what makes a flight “weight restricted”, but it’s nice to know they want to make sure we have enough fuel.

I manage to somehow miss the first call for drinks – the cart was there one second and then 5 rows back – I only blinked.  Oh well – $7 for a Bloody Mary is highway robbery anyway.  I’ve already stolen a pillow that they’ll likely try and charge me $10 for anyway.

I doze back off and wake up again about 2/3 of the way through the flight to discover that my knee has seized up and it hurts like hell.  Two of the three kids are crying and the dog is barking again.  The flight attendants are taking drink orders again and suddenly $7 for a Bloody Mary doesn’t seem so bad.  I dull the knee pain a bit with some Mr & Mrs T’s and Finlandia.  The dog stops barking and the kids settle down and I doze off for the rest of the flight.

Off the plane, get the bags and gimp my way to tthe car rental counter.  Everyone is so cheery and I am decidedly not.  My knee hurts and it’s raining and I’m staring down the barrel of 8 days in God’s Waiting Room Sun City.  I try to be nice, but I don’t think I succeeded.

Finally get to the condo and discover that the compact car isn’t quite as compact as I thought and it barely fits in the garage.  My grandmother is still essentially living in a cold water flat as she refuses to leave the hot water heater on, because who needs hot water on demand anyway?  She also still insists that it only takes 20 minutes to get hot water, which is far short of how long it actually takes.

I pre-emptively vetoed going out for dinner.  My knee still hurts and I have no desire to go head to head with blue haired ladies in Lincoln Town Cars in the rain.  We order in pizza and wings.  I veto potential trips to the bank, as they do not need to occur.  I veto washing the dishes with cold water.  (The hot water heater is still in the ON position as I type.)  I suggest on 3 separate occasions that she should see a doctor and am soundly ignored.  Despite the desert supposedly having a great climate, I cannot breathe because I am allergic to something in this condo.  (I wonder if I should make an appointment now for the sinus infection I’ll have when I get home.)

Oh well.  At least we won’t have to go to the bank multiple times for no reason.

Once again, I have many things to be thankful for this year.  A spectacular little brother, food on the table (and enough to share – even better), a roof over my head, a great dog and terrific friends.

We’ve got a ton of food and enough to share with friends who are stuck working today and I’ll be packing up a dinner in a cooler tonight.

And yes, I laughed at the RickRoll in the Macy’s parade this morning.

Hope everyone has a great day.  Much love from the Group W bench.

If you missed Alice’s Restaurant Massacre on the radio this morning, you can hear it here.

Despite the barbecues and sales, I do genuinely beleive that the vast majority of Americans do understand the real reason for the long weekend.

Frankly, I’m not sure how you couldn’t understand – when every other day you turn on the news and there is another picture of a soldier in his dress uniform who has been killed in action, you know why we stop and remember the fallen. It may look like many are using the weekend as an escape, but when you’re near constantly reminded of the ultimate sacrifice made by so many, it starts to feel like every day is a Memorial day.

It might not always look like it, but people do take the time to remember.

Man, I love poppyseed bagels. (Has the medical establishment ever worked out that little “opium positive” quirk for poppyseeds? Or was that an urban legend all along?)

Ahhh, a new year. And so starts the race to see how quickly I can break my resolutions. I suppose I shouldn’t call them resolutions, they’re really more nice ideas that never get a lot of traction.  Maybe I just need to come up with better resolutions, like “drink more beer.”

I had a lovely evening sitting here with my kitty by my side.

I think I may save the champange and have mimosas tomorrow morning.

Much to be done in 2008.  I suppose I shouldn’t stay up until 3AM so I can get things off to a good start.

Child’s Play is at it again!

Over 45 participating hospitals around the world this year.  330K donated already this season, they’re shooting for 750K by Christmas.   There’s probably a children’s hospital near you that’s participating.

Little bro liked the turkey and had no arguments when I informed him that the leftovers were allllllllllllll his.

Other than the rolls being a touch *too* golden brown, everything was good.

Target, who normally doesn’t pay a bit of attention to any kind of human food, was rather perplexed. I lost count of how many times he walked into the kitchen, head high smelling the turkey, and then ate his food and looked at me as if to say, “Why doesn’t this taste like the rest of the kitchen smells??” At one point I had to put the roasting pan on “his” counter for a moment, and it’s a good thing it was only a moment, cause he was ready to take a header right into it. So, he got a tiny bit of turkey with his dinner and was a VERY happy cat.

Happy Thanksgiving from the Group W bench.

At the rate things are going, we’ll be eating around midnight, but we’ve never been big on hard and fast schedules around here.

As usual, the pub was packed last night – everyone comes into town and after about 3 hours realizes they’ve already had too much family time and then it’s time to escape for beer and sports.

Enjoy the day.

I just saw an advert for Kohl’s after Thanksgiving sale. Though I still do not want to hear a damn thing about Christmas until after Thursday, I can’t fault the stores for advertising the sales, as they have this little thing they like to do called staying in business.

What killed me is this – they’re opening at FOUR IN THE MORNING. I just can’t even fathom being up and at a store that early in the morning for anything or anyone. I’m fairly certain I don’t like anyone that much in the first place.

I realize that there are people that DO go out to these sales at the crack of dawn – what I can’t quite fathom is who and why. What gift or recipient is SO critical that you would get out and torture yourself that way? You’ve just survived a major family holiday and now you want to go deal with insane crowds and risk an elbow in the eye because some store only has 5 of this season’s hottest toy actually in stock?

For full disclosure, my brother & I usually venture out on Black Friday. Wander around, check out the Santa Claus to see if he’s decent and get a late lunch. It’s more a spectator event for us, never before noon, and I’m fairly certain I don’t remember a single time we’ve actually bought anything that day.

Hope everyone was able to get in touch with their inner Irishman today.

Sláinte.

Or Pancake Day, depending on from where you hail…

There will be pancakes here today, which could be interesting given that I can’t even remember the last time I made pancakes. If nothing else, there will be bacon – made up a bit of the paprika bacon I picked up from the butcher shop yesterday and it is GOOD. Properly thick sliced bacon is oh so, so good. Mmmm, bacon.

Nope, not Catholic – just appropriating the fun parts of Lenten season for myself.

Saw this come across the wires this morning: Twelve step program aims to cure email addiction. Put down the crackberry and back away slowly – you’re just not that important. I can only speak for myself but I’ve found over the years that when you’re having problems managing god knows how many emails, it’s usually because of carelessness on the part of the sender. How many emails have you gotten that have been sent to everyone and their brother and have absolutely nothing to do with you? Yet, you still have to take the time to read it and discover that it is meaningless. So, lets have some classes on how to properly send email so it gets to the necessary parties and doesn’t bother anyone else…

In other news, JetBlue is setting out a customer bill of rights. Now, I’m glad they’re addressing the problems on the tarmac from last week – this is a good thing. However, didn’t something like this happen just recently to another airline? (American, I think?) I’d say when something like that happens, even if it’s one of your competitors and not you, wouldn’t you want to have a little sit-down with folks and say, “Hey, what do we have in place to make sure something like that disaster doesn’t happen to our airline?”

I understand how they got out on the tarmacs in the first place – they got information (unfortunately incorrect) that the weather was going to change in short order and they’d be able to take off. OK, I can see going ahead and leaving the gate for that. However, I still can’t understand why it could take upwards of 8 to 11 hours to realize that the weather isn’t going to change after all… And I do understand that when you’ve got planes coming in, planes on the tarmac, a limited amount of gates you can get to, it becomes a logistical challenge to be sure. But dayum, have a hard go/no-go point and if it’s no-go, then get the wheels turning to get that plane back to the gate – don’t just sit there and keep hoping the weather will change.