CafeChatNoir

Today’s post over on the Dilbert Blog - The Meaning of Meaning did a good job of hitting home on some personal things of late, especially this excerpt:

I found ways to use my success to make the world a little bit better. It’s surprising how often the opportunity comes up. It ranges from personal favors to investment decisions to my choices to continue making a comic and a blog post for you every day.

Now, I can’t say I have much in the way of success, but I do try to be a decent person. Not for any grand reward, but because it is the right thing to do and maybe someone’s day will be better for it. The problem is, you can only give with nothing in return for so long before you run out of “give” for anyone. Someone once told me, “There are only three people I trust and depend on: Me, Myself & I.” I’m starting to see the point.

Recently, an acquaintance was in need of something. Not a dire need or anything like that, but it when I heard her mention it, I realized I had the solution for her. One email, 2 pieces of paper and maybe 10 minutes of actual activity and it was done. It really wasn’t a big deal, I was happy to be able to help. She was very appreciative of it all. I didn’t do it for that reason, but it was really nice to have someone say thanks and really mean it.

Like I said, I don’t try to be a decent person for any grand reward, but for every instance that turns out like the above, I wade through the following crap:

Exhibit A: Glad I can make you feel more secure about yourself… The insecure ones that have nothing good to say unless it makes them sound better, and because they know you’re basically an idiot and will help where needed - they will ask you for it. And then later talk about how they could have done it better. Nice.

Exhibit B: You know, I can’t possibly be the ONLY dependable person in your life. You can only be the go-to girl for so long, especially when it gets to the point where it’s completely taken for granted. For the love of all that’s good and holy, say thank you and possibly reciprocate sometime. Cause I can’t do this forever.

Exhibit C: Have you just completely lost your mind? You’re mucking along, doing your thing, have been nice, have been helpful, and suddenly you’re evil incarnate for some unknown offense. Sorry I’m not a mind reader and have no earthly clue what you’re talking about, but I guess it makes you feel better to be mad at someone, and it might as well be someone who has done nothing to you and you can feel confident that there will be no retribution for it, because you’ve targeted a “nice” person.

Exhibit D: Just tell me what I want to hear. Don’t come to me for advice knowing that while I try to be a nice person, I am also an honest person. If you want to drive your car blindfolded off a cliff and ask me if I think it’s a good idea, don’t expect me to remind you to gas up the car before you head out. (Granted, some days I think I should just say “yes” and let Darwin take over.) If you don’t want to hear the answer, don’t ask the question.

ETA: Exhibit E: The anonymous asshat that decided it was fine to park my reserved space at the townhouse. Whoever you are, please get your head out of your ass. I use that space at all hours, I direct contractors to use it, and people who are coming to pick things up from the townhouse. Not yours.

I do try to put myself in other folks’ shoes - when you take the time to look at things from someone else’s perspective, it can explain a lot. However, these instances - all I am left with is scratching my head and wondering “WTF?”

It’s stuff like this that really makes you wonder what is the point of even trying some days.

Those that know me very well know that I have a very well developed cynical streak that I’ve managed to keep at bay for a long time. Maybe it’s time to just let it loose again and just look out for myself - cause I’ve just about run out of anything I can give to anyone else.