CafeChatNoir

I’ve been meaning to post about this since last weekend - & I hit the National Archives and they had this great little photography exhibit, The Way We Worked - if you’re in the area, stop in and check it out - it’s small but quite good.

Fox 5 is actually doing a segment on backmasking… (If you’ve never had a turntable, this may not make any sense to you…)

So, four days from now I will hopefully be sitting on my ass enjoying a well earned Guinness, and the title of triathlete.

My god, there is so much to get organized for this - it’s a good thing my transition bag is large enough to hold a small body. Even with having some gear cross over, you’re still basically packing for 3 races. And once I swap out the pedals on Bulletproof (she named herself after the ride last night), then it’s an extra pair of shoes to bring along to boot.

I’ve got a list a mile long of things that have to be packed up. At least the tri shorts & sports bra stay on the whole time… For the swim, wetsuit goes over it, plus goggles & swim cap. Then out of all that, into socks, shoes, helmet, sunglasses, camelbak, tri top, race belt, and depending on the temps, armwarmers and possibly bike pants over the shorts, get the bike off the rack and then it’s off to the races for the bike leg. Then rack the bike, out of the helmet, armwarmers, bike pants, & camelbak, on with the hat and then it’s the run. Throw another shoe change in there if you’ve got clipless pedals.

The folks doing the full Ironmans do have kickass transitions - of course, they DO earn them! They’ve got tons and TONS of volunteers - they have spotters who see you come in from the swim and off the bike so they can have your stuff ready, changing tents (think the dressing room at Loehmann’s, but you still can do a full change because it’s technically not “public nudity”), and what one gal described as “transition hand maidens”. They get your bike for you if at all possible, and then rack it again when you’re done. At the actual transition everyone gets their own person that snags the gear bag and has it right there in the changing tents. One of the gals said she had gone through mentally of what she’d need to remember to get from her gear bag and ended up not having to worry about it, as her volunteer just brought out every single thing in the bag and said “Need this? How about this? OK, this we’ll save for T2.”, etc. Oh, and wetsuit strippers.

In the shorter races, you’re on your own. My biggest concern is killing myself in the transitions. When my adrenaline gets going, I get REALLY clumsy. And I have no doubt I will have just a little bit of an adrenaline rush going on Sunday morning…

So, one of my coworkers asks today if I got a survey about the department - no, and I am quite sure I was intentionally left off the list given my imminent departure - most folks don’t want to hear from the disgruntled burnt out employee on her way out the door. So, she sends me the link to it. Bwaaahahahahahaha. It was one of those agree/disagree type things or leave a full comment. Yes, there were near paragraph long comments on every single question. I IM’d her all my answers, and she said they all sounded very good - I can be incredibly eloquent when I’m pissed off. Given the tone and questions of the survey, seems the next direction for the department is “Stellar Support” and going to be all about “exceeding customer expectations”. I pointed out that customer expectations were already beyond the scope of the support contracts we have in place, and exceeding them is pretty much out of the question as we don’t have the level of expertise or any incentive to actually care.

Like I told my coworker, someone will recognize my writing style and delete it, I’m sure. But, she loves the way I write and has made me promise her an advance copy of the great American spy novel when I write it. :)

It will likely get tossed regardless, considering I used the words “oblivious” and “upper management” in the same sentence. Ah well.

8 hours left.

Betty White is on the Late Late show w/ Craig Ferguson…

CF: “So, the show seemed to be very popular with the gay community” (referencing The Golden Girls)
BW: “I think they liked old broads.”

They can make me come to work, but they can’t make me think. 12 hours and 45 minutes.

And of course, the weather sucks today…

60+ pages of documentation written just for this training session.

At least 6 other module specific training documents referenced today, repeatedly, with the STRONG suggestion that they use them as reference material in their day to day calls. (I don’t understand the resistance to the idea that a training document can also be a reference document once training is over.)

A copy of the full spec to one of our more confusing screens. I’ll admit, it’s not written in plain English, but it’s hardly Aramaic, either. “How do you read it?” I’m sorry, I can’t teach you to read. Take 5 minutes, get past the panic that you don’t quite recognize everything right off the bat, read it, think about what you’re reading, and it WILL make sense.

Nearly 3 hours straight of going through all this today. While it still probably doesn’t cover half of what I know about the software, it’s the best I could do.

So, what’s the last question? “Well, who is going to take the ESS* calls now?”

*headdesk*

*ESS = Our employee self service web thing. It’s not perfect, but it’s more stable than it used to be at least. I was the “expert” on it - and not “I’m stronger than everyone else on it, but others can at least muck through ‘expert’”, but “No one else takes those calls.”

The 60+ page training document is done. I’d sent out a draft Thursday as a courtesy, it was about 85% done at that point. I stated quite clearly to the second line that the suggestion box was CLOSED. So, of course, when I log on to send out the final version tonight, there is an email waiting from one of my second line coworkers with “Oh, can you hit on these things, too?” Um, no. At this point, you want it trained, you can train them on it later, or should have done it already. Enjoy that.

And tomorrow I’ll be sending out an email of “Here are my calls, there is pretty much a snowball’s chance in hell they will be closed by Friday, you guys can fight amongst yourselves as to who gets stuck with what.” (And my remaining calls really suck.)

And I get to tell one of our PITA program managers I’m outta here and she can start bothering someone else in the group on her disaster of a client.

Last week, upon hearing of my departure, someone asked, “Who is going to do general support now?” Well, not me.

Man, I should have done this oh, about a month ago… 5 days…5 days…just need to get through 5 days without telling anyone what I am REALLY thinking of them right now.

is winging his way back home after what I hope was a successful “escape from Pascagoula” weekend. If nothing else, he should have good Cinco de Mayo stories to tell. DC didn’t disappoint, two events going on when we got down there, neither had been on any list I’d looked at of things going on this weekend - that is what I love about summer here, there is always something going on.

Training doc is essentially done, just down to the formatting now…

Movie thing - not sure I really agree about some of these being in the top 100, but hey, I don’t sit around and watch movies all day, so I suppose I don’t qualify as an expert.

Playing tourist yesterday…

There’s a in my house… Should I call an exterminator?

What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

At least for me. Now it’s time to stock the fridge, get this damn placed cleaned up a little bit, NOT work on any documentation and enjoy the weekend…

41 pages of documentation and still going. Last night, I informed some folks that I will be completely OFF the radar from tonight through Sunday night as far as work was concerned. You’d had thought I’d said I was going to running around kicking puppies all weekend. My god folks, I HAVE A LIFE!! And this weekend, writing documentation IS NOT INCLUDED!

As much as I worry about my four legged charges, I can’t imagine how people with children don’t have a full on meltdown.

Target’s (see icon) favorite game of all time has always been the “prove to me you love me” game, in which he would place himself somewhere in the house where he could see me, yet I couldn’t see him. He’ll wait until I am good and spun up before announcing his presence. Also, if he’s feeling punky, he’ll skip a meal. Not good and NOT normal - if I can at least *find* him, I am willing to wait until the next chow time to see if he’s interested before I panic. If I can’t find him at all, well, I’ll admit, I start worrying.

Little over a year ago, dumbass ate dishwasher detergent (foil packet sample that he mistook for a Pounce package - I can see how he made the mistake) - had an upset stomach for a couple days, and several days of meds before the packet was found w/mulitple kitty tooth punctures in it… I left a voice mail for my vet, who called me back on a Saturday night and agreed, yeah, that would probably put him off his feed… So, I’m a touch paranoid when he doesn’t eat - either he’s actually sick or ate something he shouldn’t.

Couple months ago we went through a breakfast disappearance. I searched high and low and literally 30 seconds before I had to leave the house to get to work, he appeared in the kitchen out of nowhere, looking for food. Never figured out where he was.

Breakfast skippage again this morning… Couldn’t find him before I left. Left anyway, feeling incredibly guilty, but consoled myself with the fact that at least I’d be back early afternoon. Came home, he’s not waiting in the kitchen. Cue multiple swear words here. I search again. AND FIND HIS HIDEY HOLE! One of the guest rooms has a little wooden table w/a tablecloth that hits the floor. Yup, perfect for a kitty. He’s not so interested in leaving, so I leave him be for a while and not too long after that he’s down for food, and then back to the hidey hole. Not good. I hate it when he does this to me. Then a couple hours ago he shows up in the office, ready for lap time. The rest of the evening he’s been his usual self - he’s actually lounging right behind me right now.

Dammit, why does he like to drive me up a wall like that?

1. When was the last time you drank?
I have a beer to my right at the moment.

2. Who was the last person you drank with?
Peeps at Glory Days, Sunday night. (Sounds bad to be drinking on a Sunday night, but I went in for hockey playoffs)

3. What is your fav. drink?
Guinness

4. Are you an alcoholic?
Pretty sure the answer is no on that one, though I think there is always someone out there that thinks everyone is an alcoholic.

5. How many drinks does it take you to get drunk?
Seems to depend on what I am imbibing, but a lot regardless.

6. What is the last drink you had?
Negra Modelo

7. Have you ever gone to school/work drunk?
No. Hungover? Yes. Sleep deprived to the point I probably might as well have been drunk? Yes.

8. Do you get hangovers?
Occasionally - mainly if I forget the Gatorade & Advil before bed. Dehydration is a bitch.

9. When did you start drinking?
Sophomore year in HS. Everclear KoolAid… Way to get started…

10. Have you ever thrown up on someone cause you were so drunk?
Thank god, no. (Near someone is another story altogether.)

11. What is the craziest thing you have ever done while drunk?
Hell, I have no idea, everything seems perfectly reasonable at the time.

12. Have you ever hooked up while you were drunk?
I plead the 5th.

13. Do you wish you were drinking right now?
Again, NM to my right.

14. Have you ever been so drunk that you dont remember what happened?
Somewhat fuzzy details that sharpen up later, yes, no full on “can’t remember” blackout type stuff.

15. What is the worst drink?
Tequila. Well, cheap tequila. Cheap tequila straight.

16. Do you drink during the week?
Yes, cause why wait til Friday for a beer?

17. Has someone asked you to stop drinking?
Not that I recall. Or was listening to.

18. Have you ever been kicked out of a bar?
Once, but it was with a group, so I had to go with the rest of them.

19. When is the last time you were drunk?
Full on? It’s been a while. Super happy? Final Caps home game.

20. Have you ever been in a fight when you were drinking?
Does helping break one up count?

21. Does your family drink?
Yeah.

22. What is your favorite drinking game?
It’s been years since I played any drinking games - I sucked at all of them.

23. if you could only drink one drink for the rest of your life, what would it be?
Guinness works.

24. Have you ever had a drink named after you?
Wow, that would be cool.

25. What is your favorite day of the year for drinking?
Look, there’s a hockey game on tonight!

26. What is the earliest time that you’ve started drinking?
Around 11 AM, but that was also right after a 10 mile race. Guinness - the recovery drink of champions.

27. What is the longest stretch of time that you’ve drank?
No idea.

28. Have you ever passed out from drinking?
Yep, high school. I remember telling a friend, “I think I’m done now”, headed upstairs to one of the bedrooms, hauled myself up to the top bunk and out like a light in about 5 seconds. Had the timing been less precise, I would have fallen off the bunkbed ladder and been asleep on the floor.

29. Ever have to go to the hospital because of something alcohol related?
Nope.

30. Have a dui/dwi/minor?
Nope.

31. Have you ever had an interaction with police while under the influence?
Yes… 7-11. High school. Drunk. Getting coffee - fortunately NOT driving or anything like that. Struck up a nice conversation with the officer while prepping my coffee. My designated driver was sure we were going to be arrested. However, it would seem the officer was more amused by the situation, especially given that I wasn’t the driver.

32. What are your parent’s drinks of choice?
Mom liked Vodka Tonics, got her hooked on Guinness, too. Dad like Rum & Cokes. Both liked scotch.

33. Ever done a keg stand?
I don’t even know what it is.

34. Have you ever drank out of a beer bong?
Almost. Chickened out at the last minute when I had visions of beer coming out of my ears.

35. What is your favorite alcohol related beer commercial?
The “Brilliant!” commericals from Guinness, and most Corona commericals, cause who doesn’t want to be at the beach?

36. What’s your favorite karoake song?
Only made that major mistake in judgement once.

37. Do you have a favorite bar?
Definitely.

38. Have you ever woken up in a strange place after a night of drinking?
I suppose you’d have to discount the fact that my life is strange in general… So, no.

39. What types of alcohol have a bad effect on you?
Can’t do straight tequila anymore. The smell of Jager also doesn’t do good things for me, and yet I’ve never had it.

40. What is your favorite hangover cure?
Gatorade. Tons of it BEFORE you go to bed and a couple Advil.

In less than 24 hours I’ve gotten two offers to get me hooked up with clients for summer work. WTF?

DOESN’T THE TERM “SLACKER” MEAN ANYTHING TO ANYONE THESE DAYS???!?!?!!!!

Yesterdays issues a result of DDOS attack against SixApart

Moussaoui spared death penalty For now. I’m sure the prison population of whichever lovely federal establishment he ends up in will tend to that. Frankly, I’ll be surprised if he lasts a year.

Also, lesson learned this week: Don’t bother to ask ahead of time “what do you need in training next week” - folks seem to be expecting miracles.

Courtesy Bash.org
[Scythe] caps lock is not your friend.
[Scythe] In fact, it is your mortal enemy and it made very disparaging remarks about your mother.

Sadly, there is a lot of yelling in my documentation…

Television Host Louis Rukeyser Dies

I don’t even know how many of you would even recognize the name, but Louis Rukeyser hosted Wall Street Week on MPT for I don’t know how long. This was a Friday evening ritual for me & my Dad to sit and watch together for many years.

He knew his stuff, was a good interviewer, had horrific puns, and bore a bit of a passing resemblance to George Washington. I’m thinking he’s doing all the interviews with all the old school economist types he never got a chance to do before…

Today has turned into one of “those” days. Aka, massive suckage on all fronts. I’ve got 22 pages of documentation written for this damn training class, most of which I’ve already told these folks MULTIPLE times, and there is just no way we’re going to be able to get into the depth that these twits want - sorry, you should have paid attention the first three times you were told something and actually learned. And the documentation is not even halfway there. It’s not easy trying to get every freaking thing you know down on paper. It’s a twofold difficulty - first, it’s just hard to do. Second, it’s hard to be exceptionally motivated to help people who just took it for granted that you’d always be there and never bothered to learn on their own. (Bastard ingrates are gonna be in a world of hurt, and I don’t give a damn.)

Also a fair amount of “just not getting it” (, this truly does not apply to you - I’ve been laughing my ass off at your repeatedly putting your foot in your mouth this evening. Do not worry, you’re still very, very much in my good graces. And today, that’s seriously saying something.)

Damn, the weekend cannot get here fast enough.

7 and a half days. I’ve long since past the point of actual functioning - that ship sailed about 2 weeks ago. Right now it’s a good day if I don’t end up drooling on the keyboard. My newbies, sweet idiots that they are, are still looking for help. Yeah, you may want to direct those questions to someone whose brain isn’t completely focused on summer break looming ahead. :)

I’m supposed to do one more training session on troubleshooting before I go. So, being a nice (ok, stupid) person, I sent out an email asking what things they have the most problems troubleshooting so I can try and structure it. Given the replies, they would like me to basically retrain them on the entire software product… Somehow I don’t think we’ll quite make that.

So, yeah, I’d been kicking around the idea of going back to a road bike for a fair amount of time now (and the fact that I’d gone and earmarked money out of savings specifically for it about 2 months ago should have been a sign that I’d already made up my mind), and this evening I went over to the LBS, ostensibly to “talk” about what my road bike options would be… Well, the bike should be here and ready to go by the end of the week. :) Went w/the Trek 2200 “Women’s Specific Design” (not like the old girl vs guy bike, built more for inherent differences in relative torso length, etc.) After all the measuring was said and done, I of course came in “between sizes” - tried the 2200 in a 51, it felt good, but all the guys watching me zipping around the lot agreed I was having to stretch too much on it. They had a Trek 1000 in a 47 in the shop, which is also the next size down on the 2200, so I took that out for a spin as well to see about the relative difference in sizes, and the smaller was definitely better, so the 2200 in a 47 it is. I could not get over how VERY lightweight it is compared to my hybrid, and HOW FAST IT IS!!! I was whipping around the parking lot and the alley like it was nothing. The integrated shifters absolutely ROCK - I absolutely despised the downtube shifters on my last road bike, and I am so, SO happy those are becoming a relic.

The guys at the LBS assure me that I do NOT look like Kermit the Frog on it, which I cannot say for my hybrid. I also think I’ll be able to stick with the drop bars on this one - it definitely feels SO much better than my last road bike.

And yes, it’s pink. But you know what? I really kind of dig it. (Though I may have to add some art to it at some point this summer.) And check out those spokes. Very badass.

Interesting to see May Day going old school - the way the newsfeeds I’ve seen are playing it up, it’s pretty much the end of the world. Personally, I’ve yet to see any impact around here just yet today, but the day is young and I’ve only hit McDonald’s and the office so far. In Mexico, today is the Great American Boycott where they’re going to boycott US products and services in support of immigrants in the US. I’ve given up on trying to understand how boycotting the employer helps the employee…

I haven’t been able to find anything DC specific as far as rallies yet this morning, but frankly, if I weren’t working today, I’d probably head up into the city to at least take a look and see what kind of turnout they get. (There must be some irony in there that I can’t ditch work for a labor rally…)