CafeChatNoir

Feeling a little better this morning, this time next week her plane will be in the air. I’ve got the laptop down here in the living room and I’m getting the evil eye for it. Fuck it, I don’t care anymore.

Picked up my race number (43, apparently folks do NOT register early for this) & t-shirt for tomorrow - actually doing the race is still totally up in the air, but hopefully when I remind her about it, she won’t get all pissy on me.

I really am quite disappointed in myself that I’ve managed to get through all other sorts of crap in my life, and an 83 year old woman has broken me in 3 weeks.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, !!!!!!!!!!!

My horrorscope…

A challenge at work is actually just an opportunity in disguise — an opportunity for you to prove your mettle and strengthen your connections. Cultivate awareness of all the nuances of what’s going on around you; your attentiveness pays off when you understand the details or the human element better than others. Also give careful consideration to the manner in which you communicate, especially with a direct superior. With these steps taken, you’ll come out of this smelling like a rose.

Also, the check engine light decided to come on in my car today…

Caps got clobbered tonight, but I had a good time anyway, hooked up with some folks I haven’t seen in a while, so it’s all good.

OMG, the stupids are out in force today. Hockey soon…thank god.

Got about 6 hours of sleep last night, which is a lot for the past two weeks. It would have been more had my wonderful cat not decided at 11:30 that he wanted very badly to hear his own voice. So he spent a nice chunk of time downstairs yowling at the top of his lungs for absolultely no reason whatsoever…

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAPERPATH!!!!

29 again, right? :)

I’m pretty sure this is the first time since she’s gotten here that I’m going to be asleep before midnight. Usually I am so spooled up I can’t even think about sleep until an hour or so *after* she’s gone to bed. Tonight, tired has won out over all other things.

And on that note, I am going to attempt to get 8 hours of real sleep.

I haven’t gotten a decent night’s sleep in two and a half weeks.

I’m a bad person, I’m losing my mind, I’ve got zero patience or tolerance left for my own grandmother, and I fully realize that I am going to hell for it. But damn, it’s so hard to deal with her. Bitching about dinner, instead of just saying, “Hey, can you show me where you put stuff in the fridge”, she proceeds to tell us that “All the food is safe from her” since she doesn’t know where it is, and then getting on to my working 11-8, “Well, I’ll just have a sandwich I guess…” Good lord, you’d think we’re not feeding her.

11 days. 11 days. I can do this. I have no choice. I am Puke & Sprint, I can do anything. Dear god, please just let me get through this. Help me figure out a way to get through this without us both completely hating each other by the end of this visit. 33 years of dealing with someone who doesn’t like me to begin with, and then one on one for a whole month is not pretty.

OK, round #2 of the benadryl is starting to kick in a little. Gonna try to get some sleep in…

I cheered inside when she said next year would be a shorter visit. Then she made comments about our work schedules and how we never have dinner. I should have seen that coming.

We’re into week three. As I’ve said so many times - I can totally put my life on hold for a week, even two weeks. But a month is just too much. I’ve managed to get out of the house for non-work/moving related me-time on 4 occasions. Gym, Hockey (which I got in trouble for), stopping for a beer at Gd’s after moving stuff, and then Christmas Shopping. Of those 4, only 2 I didn’t basically sneak out for. This is out of 17 days. Of course, Donald hasn’t gotten out much more either, but at the same time, he gets to the office every day.

What little sleep I am getting is of absolute suck quality. I end up staying up a couple hours after she goes to bed just to decompress, and I’m still getting up early to tend to things. I am completely physically and emotionally exhausted. I’m working on a stress induced ear infection - the spot behind my left ear swelled up today and it hurt to close my jaw - loaded up on benadryl and lasted about an hour before I had to crash for a little while.

On the upside, I’ve managed to get some of my assignments done for class already, so that’s good, considering that she’s not going to understand at all.

Donald is out watching football this evening. I’m waiting for him to get back, just cause, well, hell I’m not really sure, I guess to keep grandma from freaking out if she hears the door open or something.

He’s home. Grandma is gonna freak out when she sees him in the morning, but again, whatever.

So completely and utterly exhausted. Just popped two more benadryl, have a heating pad for my ear, going to bed soon, hopefully getting a decent nights sleep…

Oh dear lord in heaven I am not going to make it through today much less 11 more days. She’s been in a snit all morning.

And something is seriously fucked up with my jaw/ear on my left hand side… WTF?

Yes, I’m in my room hiding from my grandmother at the moment…

Yesterday she was all in a tizzy that her gifts wouldn’t fit in her suitcase, despite multiple reassurances that we could easily pop it in a box and ship it to her. I screwed up the size on a couple things, she said to have them shipped to Phoenix when I reordered. So I did. Then she decided she wanted them shipped here. (I guess so we can then ship them to Phoenix in a week and a half.) Too late, now she’s down there fretting over the box arriving at her house before she’s home, despite the fact that she has a petsitter coming every other day who also brings in the mail.

There is also the matter of cash. She’s running low. Have repeatedly told her she can write one of us a check and we can get cash out for her at the ATM. (Her ATM card is locked in her safe deposit box…) She’s getting spooled up about that, too. We’re going out this afternoon to tend to that.

The tile guy came and left this morning, he’s going to have to do the work tomorrow. Seems my ex fucked up what he did do six ways from Sunday and there is a lot of little things he has to undo and then redo. He also has to find fixtures for me, as the only thing I could find at Home Depot had a bunch of other crap in it that I didn’t need, and as it turns out, won’t fit anyway unless we rip out part of the wall, which we both agreed was probably not ideal.

I’m working 11-8 this week, forgetting about the fact that Thursday is her birthday. If someone can’t switch shifts with me that day, I’m so totally and completely screwed.

It’s incredibly selfish, but I’ll be happy when I have my life back.

& I are quietly celebrating the fact that we’ve broken the halfway point on this visit. A month can be a very long time…

I’ve got a two foot high stack of books at my feet, the perfect Caps ballcap, and a mimosa at my side. A successful Christmas indeed.

made me cry.

Since I started reading your journal, I discovered one thing. You are a silver lining.

Merry Christmas.

I think that is the sweetest thing I have ever been told.

The presents are all wrapped and under the tree (well before midnight, no less - quite unusual for me), everyone is in bed and I’m spending a little quality time with a South Park Christmas marathon - absolutely hilarious. (So many reasons that I’m the head bartender on the bus to hell.)

Two weeks down, two weeks to go on the visit. While there have been some tense days, there have been no full on fights, which I’m grateful for, and frankly, exceptionally surprised. But between the moving, the holiday, the visit, and oh, that work thing, I’m physically and emotionally really, really tired. I’m not getting enough sleep and the sleep I’m getting ain’t exactly quality, but hey, I can catch up in January, right? All I really want for Christmas is enough patience to get through the rest of the visit with some level of grace & dignity.

Merry Christmas to all my buds out there - y’all have really come through for me in more ways than you can possibly imagine in the past year, and especially listening to my insane rants over the past two weeks. :)

I hope all your holidays are filled with love.

Peace out, kids.

As completely selfish as it sounds - when am I going to get the Christmas that *I* want? Christmas Eve on my own, Christmas Day with the people I love, screw the presents, forget the stress, just remember what it’s really all about. What is it going to take?

Had to run to the grocery store for a couple last minute items. It’s freaking GORGEOUS out there for Christmas Eve - sunny and 50+ degrees.

I’m driving back, and jealous of every person I see running and biking out there today because I can’t be out there too for various reasons… And thinking that were my parents still around, I wouldn’t have to be dealing with certain things, and I could be out there. At which point, “Feliz Navidad” comes on the radio, one of my favorites because makes me think of Christmas back in San Diego waaay back in the day… So, I’m kinda ticked that my folks are gone, then what pops into my head is that there are so many GOOD things that wouldn’t be, had things not happened the way they did.

Neither Beezer or the Marine would be in my life. Highly unlikely that I’d be heading back to school. My peeps at Glory Days. Random strangers professing their undying love for me at Glory Days at last call. (OK, that’s just highly amusing.) Caps hockey on the big screen at Glory Days. (See a trend?) I’d not know the magic that is AHL hockey fights. Fun escape time in Downtown Norfolk (thank you!) Clarendon Ballroom, whackos and all. 4 triathlons and 8 road races in 2006. Breaking 11 minute miles. DC Tri Club, TriRats, Chippy & Stake. Shopping for a wetsuit. Hatteras Light & 800 feet on a parasail, with a complete, utter, total hottie helping me in & out of my lifejacket. Swimming a kilo. Puke & Sprint. The perfect T-day turkey. Working towards a marathon.

That’s a shitload to reconcile, especially while it hits you like a ton of bricks driving down the road… I took a detour home so I could be composed by the time I got home, lest Grandma freak out.

I’ve always maintained that in every completely shit situation, good comes from bad. The past 9 months has proved that many times over, but sometimes it’s hard not to feel a little bad over the good that came out of hell.

http://www.noradsanta.org/en/default.php

Last sighted in Moscow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(Yes, I’m a dork.)

I actually got OUT of the house for a while last night, and got to see the Caps win again!

However, I am here alone with Grandma for the next five and a half hours, and despite getting a semi-decent night’s sleep, I’m still completely exhausted and really need to sack out for an hour or two, but I don’t know it would go over real well…

Even though I only got to see about 5 minutes of the game, it was good to have the Caps win. :)

Crisis averted as much as possible. Tired as hell - up til 1 last night and then up again around 5:45 this morning. Still more ahead. Problem is figuring out just how long it’s going to take. I have tonight, Saturday morning and all day Monday. Unfortunately, I don’t know how much if anything I can do tonight due to losing a boatload of sleep last night cause I couldn’t just finish things off last night…

Gotta catch a second wind, cause I gotta be ready to deal with grandma and then go actually do something.

So freaking exhausted.

Good lord, when is the light at the end of the tunnel NOT going to be a fucking oncoming train??????

Edit: God bless T, my future tenant. She has done an excellent job of talking me off the ceiling in the past half hour.

Back again. Master bath is cleared out. Have to still move a few things out of the bedroom, but not too much left - upside is that I don’t have to be on for work til 10, so I’ve got a decent amount of time to finish up.

Still would have preferred to finish it up last night, though.