It was an interesting day.
We have a full on client from hell. He is not an accountant, but “knows everything”. And yet, he’s always calling in, usually to pick a fight. He is on everyone’s shit list. They have a bad habit of changing things through the backend (bad idea) and then trying to blame the software. Their internal controls are nil, and again, they try to blame the software. Crap like that all the time.
Well, yesterday he had one of his minions call in, and within 30 seconds he was on the phone, and damned if I wasn’t the unlucky bastard on the call.
Long story short, with our software, you process, then you commit. If you only process, things get out of sync. We make it very clear that you process, then commit. It’s a very simple concept. Most everyone gets it the first time you explain it to them.
They of course, go back to prior months, process, things have changed, don’t commit, shit gets out of sync and they complain. I was making some really good headway with his minion, and she was actually getting the point. He, on the other hand, wanted me to:
a) guarantee that if nothing in the past had changed, that they could go back and process without committing. Um, not only no, but HELL NO. Sure, in theory, yes, if absolutely nothing whatsoever had changed, you could do that - but there is no way I will make any kind of a guarantee like that. I was born at night, but not last night.
b) tell him how to prevent this in the future. I start with “step A” - to which he responds, “Well, I’m sure that’s good advice for other companies…” (I should have given up right then and there.)
c) trace back in the system to determine the exact transaction that had changed that had caused the “process but not commit” to hose them up. Nope. We don’t do that. Completely out of scope, and damn near impossible because of the myriad of factors involved. I tell him twice that no, I can’t do that, sorry - my story is the same as it has been since the beginning of the call, reprocess & commit to fix, and don’t process without committing again, and you shouldn’t have these problems. That was when he said, “Well, I’ll let you & minion handle finding the transaction and you can get back to me.” What the fuck part of NO don’t you understand? That is when I had to pull “out of scope, not phone support, I am escalating, kiss my ass.” To which he replied, “What, you can’t just write up a few select statements?” (As Mgr B so aptly pointed out, “What, he can’t just write up a few select statements?”)
He then calls his account manager to bitch, she knows what a dickhead he is, who comes down to check on me. (She knows from experience that more often than not, we’re gonna be the ones traumatized, not him, LOL.) He claims I was not cooperative - I explain the “out of scope” concept and she totally gets it. She asks if we can escalate it to Manager B - I was HAPPILY able to tell her I had already planned on just that, and it was in my notes, and as soon as Mgr B was back in her office, I’d be handing it off. (They’re starting a file on the loser. Good. She asked him to put his complaint in writing - he wouldn’t - because he knows we’re right.)
So, Mgr B gets back in her office, I tell her what is up with the loser, and she had all my notes printed out and was getting ready to call him back and tell him the exact same thing as I was getting ready to go for the day. Upside to this call - I had talked w/her about it last night - she knew they were already being *ahem* challenging, so this was no surprise. I hope she rips him a new one - because her reaction was the same as mine to his “I want guarantees and go figure out what I effed up” demands - “we don’t do that!!!!!” (Especially since I had already done a lot of digging to show them they were screwing things up.)
So, not only is HE on the shitlist, so is the new minion, as we have now found he is using her for cover to call in. It’s all OK, cause I’m in the clear, bent over backwards to try and show them where they were going wrong - if they can’t accept that, it’s their problem, not ours.
On the way home, I saw a guy plow his car into a wall on the parkway. On that stretch of the road, the road curves rather gently to the left. He was about 4 cars ahead of me, and I watched him go straight (and off the road) instead of curving. Then he tried to get back on the road and overdid it to the left, and then overcorrected right, and BAM, into the wall, airbags deployed and everything. I immediately pulled over along with someone else, the second person called 911 and left, I stayed with the guy until the police got there and let him use my phone to call a tow truck. He was OK, but good and shaken up. Thing is, on that stretch of road, if he just hadn’t tried to get back off the shoulder, he had a good long time and a very wide shoulder and he could have just slowed to a stop and then gotten back on the road that way.