(Or was it 15? 17?)
Today everyone has received a bunch of junk relating to MegaCorporation’s “new market positioning”.
It includes:
a calendar (going in the trash)
a memo (I’m looking for the mention of cover sheets on the TPS reports)
a “Market Positioning Quick Reference Guide” (printed on slicks, can’t even be recycled)
a “Market Positioning Overview” brochure (slicks again…)
and a coffee mug (taking that sucker HOME - it’s actually a good one)
In the brochure, there are instructions on “what to do now” (Though I pretty much already have my mind made up on that one)
Know the positioning statement, so you can describe it to others.
Trust me, you don’t want me doing this
Always refer to the organization as “MegaCorporation”, not by any of it’s former names.
I have enough trouble with the taxing authorities as it is, I think I’ll just stick with whatever name they KNOW
Make sure your voice mail has the organization name in it.
Because everyone loves a three minute long outgoing voice mail message
Make sure your email has the company tag line in it somewhere
Um, sure…
Make sure your business cards and letterhead have the right information on them
OK, that’s a fair one
Use a MegaCorporation lanyard for your name badge
You know the Nazis had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear. - Peter Gibbons, Office Space
