16 pieces of flair…
(Or was it 15? 17?)
Today everyone has received a bunch of junk relating to MegaCorporation’s “new market positioning”.
It includes:
a calendar (going in the trash)
a memo (I’m looking for the mention of cover sheets on the TPS reports)
a “Market Positioning Quick Reference Guide” (printed on slicks, can’t even be recycled)
a “Market Positioning Overview” brochure (slicks again…)
and a coffee mug (taking that sucker HOME – it’s actually a good one)
In the brochure, there are instructions on “what to do now” (Though I pretty much already have my mind made up on that one)
Know the positioning statement, so you can describe it to others.
Trust me, you don’t want me doing this
Always refer to the organization as “MegaCorporation”, not by any of it’s former names.
I have enough trouble with the taxing authorities as it is, I think I’ll just stick with whatever name they KNOW
Make sure your voice mail has the organization name in it.
Because everyone loves a three minute long outgoing voice mail message
Make sure your email has the company tag line in it somewhere
Um, sure…
Make sure your business cards and letterhead have the right information on them
OK, that’s a fair one
Use a MegaCorporation lanyard for your name badge
You know the Nazis had pieces of flair they made the Jews wear. – Peter Gibbons, Office Space
Brian P Durnin
January 9, 2012 | 3:33 PMSo seeing as how I had missed that earlier post about your 100 things to do before you pass on, I have been spending part of my day going through each and every post. As you can see I am now up to Jan 30, 2003. I must say, knowing what I know about your life today, it’s really interesting to read what you wrote “before.”
Anyway, this one REALLY had me laughing in the aisles. Especially that final quote from Office Space. Classic.
CDC
January 9, 2012 | 3:40 PMYes, looking back it’s quite obvious that Corporate America was never really quite a good fit for me.
Brian P Durnin
January 9, 2012 | 3:44 PMWell, if you don’t mind me saying, even with all that has happened over the years, you seem to be in a much better place right now.
By the way, I sent you an email the other day. No rush or anything. I only want to make sure you got it. :)
CDC
January 9, 2012 | 3:47 PMI did not get it, so can you resend it?
Wouldn’t say things are better or worse, just very different.
Brian P Durnin
January 9, 2012 | 3:51 PM“Wouldn’t say things are better or worse, just very different.”
All too true.
So, you should have my email address from when I registered on your blog this morning, right? Because I don’t know if I have the right one for you. Could you just send me a quick email so I do have it? And I promise you that I will NEVER lose it again. :)